The reaction to President Obama's State of the Union speech was based on such predictable partisan attitudes that TNB wonders-- why bother? Does anyone feel the slightest bit differently about the President, the economy, Afghanistan, Jay and Conan, Tiger Woods, John and Elizabeth Edwards, Lady GaGa or for that matter any pressing issue than before the so called SOTU talk? The only minor blip resulted from Obama's long overdue announcement that he feels it's time to end the absurd "don't ask, don't tell" policy regarding gays serving in the military.
Not in TNB's memory (a long one!) has this country ever been so polarized politically. After Joe Wilson's "you lie" outburst in Congress last year we've now been "treated" to a Supreme Court Justice (Sam Alito) mouthing "it's not true" when Obama criticized last week's ruling giving corporations (and unions) the right to make unlimited political contributions as a matter of free speech. Why are the Justices even at SOTU, dressed in their robes no less? Antonin Scalia and his lackey Clarence (the Mute) Thomas never bother to show up anyway.
In order to keep their "filibuster proof" (now that's really majority rule democracy at work) previous Senate majority of 60 together the Democrats had to suck up to turncoat Arlen Specter and even worse to Traitor Joe (no, not Trader Joe) Lieberman. But with the election of charismatic new Mass. Senator Scott Brown, 60 is now down to 59. So why not drop to 57 by disassociating the party (led in the Senate by the incredibly uncharismatic Harry Reid) from these two?
Speaking of Scott Brown, he has obviously energized the GOP not only because of his populist message but also his good looks (see the old Cosmo centerfold). Sort of like a male Sarah Palin who, let's admit it, is basically as popular as she is not only because of her populist message but her undeniably good looks. TNB's unscientific poll has revealed that 87% of her supporters are horny rednecks. A race in 2012 between these two for the Republican nomination (don't laugh) could be something to see. The tabloids are waiting. The country deserves no less.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Principles
It is often difficult these days to tell which principles people are following in their daily lives. For example, some individuals appear to be disciples of The Peter Principle, first expounded by Dr. Laurence Peter in 1969. This axiom of course states that sooner or later people are promoted to their level of incompetence. After over 50 years in the business world, TNB can certainly attest to the validity of this proposition.
Lately we have seen some very public examples of The Peter Principle at work, perhaps best exemplified by Jeff Zucker who rose from NBC Wunderkind at the Today Show to president of the network, where he has presided over the demise of NBC prime time including the jaw dropping Leno/O'Brien mess. For this classic adherence to The Peter Principle, Zucker was rewarded with a new 3 year comtract by Comcast, which is acquiring NBC Universal from GE. A perfect manifestation of what has been aptly dubbed "upward failure".
At a slightly different level is The Dilbert Principle, first enunciated in 1995 by cartoonist Scott Adams and which states that companies tend to intentionally promote their least competent employees to middle management as "nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow". Sadly, this satirical observation was written before the current syndrome (see the movie "Up in the Air") of just terminating employees-- competent or otherwise.
Now in 2010, we have The TNB Principle, which asserts that people totally without any principles can shockingly be an influential voice in society. Just last week we witnessed both Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson make statements about the earthquake in Haiti that dispel any lingering doubts about their characters. If only there was some way to remove these morons from the productive flow (see Dilbert) before they do any more damage to what remains of our principles.
Lately we have seen some very public examples of The Peter Principle at work, perhaps best exemplified by Jeff Zucker who rose from NBC Wunderkind at the Today Show to president of the network, where he has presided over the demise of NBC prime time including the jaw dropping Leno/O'Brien mess. For this classic adherence to The Peter Principle, Zucker was rewarded with a new 3 year comtract by Comcast, which is acquiring NBC Universal from GE. A perfect manifestation of what has been aptly dubbed "upward failure".
At a slightly different level is The Dilbert Principle, first enunciated in 1995 by cartoonist Scott Adams and which states that companies tend to intentionally promote their least competent employees to middle management as "nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow". Sadly, this satirical observation was written before the current syndrome (see the movie "Up in the Air") of just terminating employees-- competent or otherwise.
Now in 2010, we have The TNB Principle, which asserts that people totally without any principles can shockingly be an influential voice in society. Just last week we witnessed both Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson make statements about the earthquake in Haiti that dispel any lingering doubts about their characters. If only there was some way to remove these morons from the productive flow (see Dilbert) before they do any more damage to what remains of our principles.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Prime Time
The year 2010 is less than two weeks old but already there's a lot of news, such as:
1. Rod Blagojevich A/K/A Mr. Scum, told Esquire Magazine than he's "blacker than Obama" (in addition to using the "C" word to describe Ill. Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan). Actually TNB has learned that as an infant Rod was found in the weeds by Alabama sharecroppers who gave him up to a Serbian family after raising him with black values.
2. Mark McGwire finally confessed to steroid use absolutely shocking the baseball world. Actually TNB has learned that Sammy Sosa will confess that his skin whitening cream caused his enormous bulging muscles as well as his loss of any use of the English language.
3. Rudy Giuliani, who became "America's Mayor" in the aftermath of 9/11, stated that under Bush there were NO domestic terror attacks as compared of course to Obama who has had Ft. Hood, Detroit, etc. Actually, TNB has learned that Rudy is just the latest victim of "selective Republican amnesia" whereby no one can (or wants to) recall anything that occurred during W.'s 8 years.
All these stories pale, however, compared to the ongoing brouhaha about relocating Jay Leno's failed prime time show and the effect on Conan, Jimmy et al. The biggest problem seems to be what will be shown 5 nights a week in the spot being vacated by Leno. Actually TNB has confidentially learned that NBC is considering the following:
(MON) THE DENTIST Shy but horny young Dr. Jon Filler only can get up the nerve to ask a female patient for a date when her mouth is stuffed with cotton or while she is in a twilight sleep from anesthesia.
(TUE) THE SUPERMARKET Veteran meat department manager Butch Butcher is demoted to the produce department when he announces that he's become a vegan.
(WED) THE AUDITORS Handsome but nerdy beginning auditor Clark Credit is totally intimidated by his superior, gorgeous but smug Debbie Debit. However after the pair uncover a major Ponzi scheme they begin a torrid romance to the shock and awe of their CPA colleagues.
(THU) THE ENGINEER Studious structural engineer Bob Billder is so stressed by the demands of his job that he spends the nighttime hours secretly examining bridge supports.
(FRI) THE RABBI Progressive Rabbi Jenny Maven reaches out to Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews by holding group therapy sessions on alternate Shabbats.
With this potential lineup who needs Jay (or Conan or Jimmy or for that matter Dave)?
1. Rod Blagojevich A/K/A Mr. Scum, told Esquire Magazine than he's "blacker than Obama" (in addition to using the "C" word to describe Ill. Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan). Actually TNB has learned that as an infant Rod was found in the weeds by Alabama sharecroppers who gave him up to a Serbian family after raising him with black values.
2. Mark McGwire finally confessed to steroid use absolutely shocking the baseball world. Actually TNB has learned that Sammy Sosa will confess that his skin whitening cream caused his enormous bulging muscles as well as his loss of any use of the English language.
3. Rudy Giuliani, who became "America's Mayor" in the aftermath of 9/11, stated that under Bush there were NO domestic terror attacks as compared of course to Obama who has had Ft. Hood, Detroit, etc. Actually, TNB has learned that Rudy is just the latest victim of "selective Republican amnesia" whereby no one can (or wants to) recall anything that occurred during W.'s 8 years.
All these stories pale, however, compared to the ongoing brouhaha about relocating Jay Leno's failed prime time show and the effect on Conan, Jimmy et al. The biggest problem seems to be what will be shown 5 nights a week in the spot being vacated by Leno. Actually TNB has confidentially learned that NBC is considering the following:
(MON) THE DENTIST Shy but horny young Dr. Jon Filler only can get up the nerve to ask a female patient for a date when her mouth is stuffed with cotton or while she is in a twilight sleep from anesthesia.
(TUE) THE SUPERMARKET Veteran meat department manager Butch Butcher is demoted to the produce department when he announces that he's become a vegan.
(WED) THE AUDITORS Handsome but nerdy beginning auditor Clark Credit is totally intimidated by his superior, gorgeous but smug Debbie Debit. However after the pair uncover a major Ponzi scheme they begin a torrid romance to the shock and awe of their CPA colleagues.
(THU) THE ENGINEER Studious structural engineer Bob Billder is so stressed by the demands of his job that he spends the nighttime hours secretly examining bridge supports.
(FRI) THE RABBI Progressive Rabbi Jenny Maven reaches out to Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews by holding group therapy sessions on alternate Shabbats.
With this potential lineup who needs Jay (or Conan or Jimmy or for that matter Dave)?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Heroes
Our modern society doesn't permit most heroes to last long on their pedestals. Thanks to the Internet, 24/7 Cable News, tweets, and other instantly available information, every wart, every instance of bad behavior and indeed just an ordinary manifestation of human nature is quickly seized upon to tear down our (mostly undeserving) heroes.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the sports world where new heroes emerge as quickly as others are shamed. Sadly, so many of the disgraced idols are revered by the youth of America, fueled by incredible commercial exploitation. Thus the old maxim that the higher one rises, the more swiftly one falls is constantly in evidence today. Many of these individuals should, of course, never been considered heroes (except by their sponsors). Consider a few examples:
GILBERT ARENAS The eccentric (and of course wildly overpaid) Washington Wizards star has been totally unmasked as nothing more than a thug by bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room, allegedly brandishing one at a teammate, who may have reciprocated, and then mocking the whole process in a pregame exhibition of arrogance and stupidity. Could anyone possibly still admire him for any reason?
TIGER WOODS More the darling of corporate America than young people who tend to concentrate on team sports (fantasy golf anyone?) no one in or out of sports has better exemplified the rapid plummet from grace (as well as providing incredible fodder for the sensationalist media)as Tiger. Obviously his image team had done a masterful job in portraying the admittedly superior golfer as some sort of superior human being. Interesting that of his many embarrassed major sponsors, only Nike which peddles athletic equipment not "prestige" products or services, appears to be ready to stick with Tiger indefinitely.
BRIAN KELLY The much admired football coach who brought the previously obscure University of Cincinnati team to the 2010 Sugar Bowl game quit 2 weeks before such game to take a more lucrative job at Notre Dame. His shocked team was thereupon annihilated by Florida 51-24. Speaking of the disgusting record of college coaches how about MIKE LEACH of Texas Tech, outstanding molder of "student-athletes" who was fired just before the Alamo Bowl (won by his team) for abusing a player who had complained of a concussion. There are few heroes among the college coaching fraternity (see payoffs to recruits among other examples of "heroic" conduct).
Of course, we also have many former heroes in baseball, such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire all tarnished by steroids after all attaining the pinnacle of admiration.
Who to believe in, admire, even consider a hero? Not exactly glamorous icons to be fawned upon but how about firefighters, police officers, emergency room personnel, the military? Just not the American way, is it?
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the sports world where new heroes emerge as quickly as others are shamed. Sadly, so many of the disgraced idols are revered by the youth of America, fueled by incredible commercial exploitation. Thus the old maxim that the higher one rises, the more swiftly one falls is constantly in evidence today. Many of these individuals should, of course, never been considered heroes (except by their sponsors). Consider a few examples:
GILBERT ARENAS The eccentric (and of course wildly overpaid) Washington Wizards star has been totally unmasked as nothing more than a thug by bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room, allegedly brandishing one at a teammate, who may have reciprocated, and then mocking the whole process in a pregame exhibition of arrogance and stupidity. Could anyone possibly still admire him for any reason?
TIGER WOODS More the darling of corporate America than young people who tend to concentrate on team sports (fantasy golf anyone?) no one in or out of sports has better exemplified the rapid plummet from grace (as well as providing incredible fodder for the sensationalist media)as Tiger. Obviously his image team had done a masterful job in portraying the admittedly superior golfer as some sort of superior human being. Interesting that of his many embarrassed major sponsors, only Nike which peddles athletic equipment not "prestige" products or services, appears to be ready to stick with Tiger indefinitely.
BRIAN KELLY The much admired football coach who brought the previously obscure University of Cincinnati team to the 2010 Sugar Bowl game quit 2 weeks before such game to take a more lucrative job at Notre Dame. His shocked team was thereupon annihilated by Florida 51-24. Speaking of the disgusting record of college coaches how about MIKE LEACH of Texas Tech, outstanding molder of "student-athletes" who was fired just before the Alamo Bowl (won by his team) for abusing a player who had complained of a concussion. There are few heroes among the college coaching fraternity (see payoffs to recruits among other examples of "heroic" conduct).
Of course, we also have many former heroes in baseball, such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire all tarnished by steroids after all attaining the pinnacle of admiration.
Who to believe in, admire, even consider a hero? Not exactly glamorous icons to be fawned upon but how about firefighters, police officers, emergency room personnel, the military? Just not the American way, is it?
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