The Eight Little Dwarfs

TNB was amazed at how small all the leading Republicans (the Presidential candidates, Senators like McCain and Graham, Eric Cantor, etc.) appeared when the announcements were made on successive days last week of the death of Muammar Ghaddafy and the upcoming final withdrawal of troops from Iraq . Just like when Osama Bin Laden was tracked down and killed, with of course 100% of the credit going to George W. Bush, this time it was either the British and French who alone brought down the Libyan colonel or Obama's exit strategy from Iraq that was a total failure (wasn't it Bush who agreed in December 2008 to bring the troops home by this December?). And by the way, Rick Perry has "revived" the birther issue only to be severely publicly reprimanded by, of all people, fellow Texan Karl Rove.

If the President announced that cancer had been eradicated, he would get no credit from any of these little people --who all resemble mental midgets. Too bad there are still 8 presidential candidates--the group would be perfect for the remake of the 1937 Disney classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Wait a minute --why not eliminate Jon Huntsman who is going nowhere, doubtlessly because he seems to be both reasonable and (gasp) qualified. So this leaves us with this Oscar worthy cast:

Bashful A perfect role for Mitt Romney who is perpetually shy about sticking to one opinion.
Doc Strangely, Ron Paul does have a medical license.
Dopey A natural for Michele Bachmann.
Grumpy The character was obviously written with Newt Gingrich in mind.
Happy Herman Cain is positively ecstatic at the P.R his ludicrous campaign has created.
Sleepy Is there a better antidote for insomnia than Rick Santorum?
Sneezy There must be some Texas sized allergies that have so clouded Rick Perry's "brain".

You're wondering about Snow White? Who better to portray the innocent virgin than Sarah Palin (or maybe Bristol).

Now you know why Chris Christie loomed so large, in more ways than one.

Dream Matchups

• After several weeks of blog inactivity, partially caused by a bad computer crash (watch out for viruses embedded in mysterious E-Mails) TNB is pleased to report that some semblance of order has come to the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. During this period we have witnessed the rise and fall (self imposed) of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie who went from a somewhat obscure hugely overweight obnoxious politician to a much better known hugely overweight obnoxious politician. Christie has just endorsed Mitt Romney who has done more flips than an Olympic gymnast on a woman's right to choose, health care and just about anything else that might endear him to the far, far right wing.
  
  Also during this time, Rick Perry has slipped greatly, partially because he has had to speak and not just swagger --OMG it's another George W. Bush, his predecessor as Texas governor. Maybe Texas can merge with Mexico to whom of course they once belonged. Probably Perry was not helped by the "shocking" revelation that his family once operated a ranch named Niggerhead. This has helped the inexplicable rise of Herman Cain who just might be the most inept of all the GOP candidates, which is saying something when the field includes Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann.
  
  TNB, the ultimate cynic as you all know, cannot fathom that there could really be a race between Cain and Barack Obama. Although when you think of it, this potential All-Black contest might just be a sort of "dream matchup". And if you really think about it (and have a mind as strange as TNB) why not for example some other dream matchups:
  


• All-Jewish ---Rahm Emanuel vs. Eric Cantor. Can't you just anticipate that each of their bar mitzvah speeches will appear on the Internet along with a list of their "donors" back then, i.e. who gave them gifts? Scandalous!



• All-Trailer Trash---Hank Williams, Jr. vs. Sarah Palin. Even though neither one's a Democrat they do represent rednecks from both the South and North. And BTW, are you as fed up as TNB is with the trivialization of Hitler, one of history's Top Ten monsters? It seems as no insult is complete these days without comparing the insultee to Adolf Hitler. Disgusting!


• All-Outrageous Celebrity---Lady Gaga vs. Kim Kardashian. OK, neither one is even 35 years old but who cares? They would be perfect as politicians--despite their shallowness, the public is mesmerized. Nauseating!

Is this the best we can do? Sadly, the answer might be yes.