It is often difficult these days to tell which principles people are following in their daily lives. For example, some individuals appear to be disciples of The Peter Principle, first expounded by Dr. Laurence Peter in 1969. This axiom of course states that sooner or later people are promoted to their level of incompetence. After over 50 years in the business world, TNB can certainly attest to the validity of this proposition.
Lately we have seen some very public examples of The Peter Principle at work, perhaps best exemplified by Jeff Zucker who rose from NBC Wunderkind at the Today Show to president of the network, where he has presided over the demise of NBC prime time including the jaw dropping Leno/O'Brien mess. For this classic adherence to The Peter Principle, Zucker was rewarded with a new 3 year comtract by Comcast, which is acquiring NBC Universal from GE. A perfect manifestation of what has been aptly dubbed "upward failure".
At a slightly different level is The Dilbert Principle, first enunciated in 1995 by cartoonist Scott Adams and which states that companies tend to intentionally promote their least competent employees to middle management as "nature's way of removing morons from the productive flow". Sadly, this satirical observation was written before the current syndrome (see the movie "Up in the Air") of just terminating employees-- competent or otherwise.
Now in 2010, we have The TNB Principle, which asserts that people totally without any principles can shockingly be an influential voice in society. Just last week we witnessed both Rush Limbaugh and Pat Robertson make statements about the earthquake in Haiti that dispel any lingering doubts about their characters. If only there was some way to remove these morons from the productive flow (see Dilbert) before they do any more damage to what remains of our principles.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Prime Time
The year 2010 is less than two weeks old but already there's a lot of news, such as:
1. Rod Blagojevich A/K/A Mr. Scum, told Esquire Magazine than he's "blacker than Obama" (in addition to using the "C" word to describe Ill. Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan). Actually TNB has learned that as an infant Rod was found in the weeds by Alabama sharecroppers who gave him up to a Serbian family after raising him with black values.
2. Mark McGwire finally confessed to steroid use absolutely shocking the baseball world. Actually TNB has learned that Sammy Sosa will confess that his skin whitening cream caused his enormous bulging muscles as well as his loss of any use of the English language.
3. Rudy Giuliani, who became "America's Mayor" in the aftermath of 9/11, stated that under Bush there were NO domestic terror attacks as compared of course to Obama who has had Ft. Hood, Detroit, etc. Actually, TNB has learned that Rudy is just the latest victim of "selective Republican amnesia" whereby no one can (or wants to) recall anything that occurred during W.'s 8 years.
All these stories pale, however, compared to the ongoing brouhaha about relocating Jay Leno's failed prime time show and the effect on Conan, Jimmy et al. The biggest problem seems to be what will be shown 5 nights a week in the spot being vacated by Leno. Actually TNB has confidentially learned that NBC is considering the following:
(MON) THE DENTIST Shy but horny young Dr. Jon Filler only can get up the nerve to ask a female patient for a date when her mouth is stuffed with cotton or while she is in a twilight sleep from anesthesia.
(TUE) THE SUPERMARKET Veteran meat department manager Butch Butcher is demoted to the produce department when he announces that he's become a vegan.
(WED) THE AUDITORS Handsome but nerdy beginning auditor Clark Credit is totally intimidated by his superior, gorgeous but smug Debbie Debit. However after the pair uncover a major Ponzi scheme they begin a torrid romance to the shock and awe of their CPA colleagues.
(THU) THE ENGINEER Studious structural engineer Bob Billder is so stressed by the demands of his job that he spends the nighttime hours secretly examining bridge supports.
(FRI) THE RABBI Progressive Rabbi Jenny Maven reaches out to Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews by holding group therapy sessions on alternate Shabbats.
With this potential lineup who needs Jay (or Conan or Jimmy or for that matter Dave)?
1. Rod Blagojevich A/K/A Mr. Scum, told Esquire Magazine than he's "blacker than Obama" (in addition to using the "C" word to describe Ill. Atty. Gen. Lisa Madigan). Actually TNB has learned that as an infant Rod was found in the weeds by Alabama sharecroppers who gave him up to a Serbian family after raising him with black values.
2. Mark McGwire finally confessed to steroid use absolutely shocking the baseball world. Actually TNB has learned that Sammy Sosa will confess that his skin whitening cream caused his enormous bulging muscles as well as his loss of any use of the English language.
3. Rudy Giuliani, who became "America's Mayor" in the aftermath of 9/11, stated that under Bush there were NO domestic terror attacks as compared of course to Obama who has had Ft. Hood, Detroit, etc. Actually, TNB has learned that Rudy is just the latest victim of "selective Republican amnesia" whereby no one can (or wants to) recall anything that occurred during W.'s 8 years.
All these stories pale, however, compared to the ongoing brouhaha about relocating Jay Leno's failed prime time show and the effect on Conan, Jimmy et al. The biggest problem seems to be what will be shown 5 nights a week in the spot being vacated by Leno. Actually TNB has confidentially learned that NBC is considering the following:
(MON) THE DENTIST Shy but horny young Dr. Jon Filler only can get up the nerve to ask a female patient for a date when her mouth is stuffed with cotton or while she is in a twilight sleep from anesthesia.
(TUE) THE SUPERMARKET Veteran meat department manager Butch Butcher is demoted to the produce department when he announces that he's become a vegan.
(WED) THE AUDITORS Handsome but nerdy beginning auditor Clark Credit is totally intimidated by his superior, gorgeous but smug Debbie Debit. However after the pair uncover a major Ponzi scheme they begin a torrid romance to the shock and awe of their CPA colleagues.
(THU) THE ENGINEER Studious structural engineer Bob Billder is so stressed by the demands of his job that he spends the nighttime hours secretly examining bridge supports.
(FRI) THE RABBI Progressive Rabbi Jenny Maven reaches out to Orthodox, Conservative and Reform Jews by holding group therapy sessions on alternate Shabbats.
With this potential lineup who needs Jay (or Conan or Jimmy or for that matter Dave)?
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Heroes
Our modern society doesn't permit most heroes to last long on their pedestals. Thanks to the Internet, 24/7 Cable News, tweets, and other instantly available information, every wart, every instance of bad behavior and indeed just an ordinary manifestation of human nature is quickly seized upon to tear down our (mostly undeserving) heroes.
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the sports world where new heroes emerge as quickly as others are shamed. Sadly, so many of the disgraced idols are revered by the youth of America, fueled by incredible commercial exploitation. Thus the old maxim that the higher one rises, the more swiftly one falls is constantly in evidence today. Many of these individuals should, of course, never been considered heroes (except by their sponsors). Consider a few examples:
GILBERT ARENAS The eccentric (and of course wildly overpaid) Washington Wizards star has been totally unmasked as nothing more than a thug by bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room, allegedly brandishing one at a teammate, who may have reciprocated, and then mocking the whole process in a pregame exhibition of arrogance and stupidity. Could anyone possibly still admire him for any reason?
TIGER WOODS More the darling of corporate America than young people who tend to concentrate on team sports (fantasy golf anyone?) no one in or out of sports has better exemplified the rapid plummet from grace (as well as providing incredible fodder for the sensationalist media)as Tiger. Obviously his image team had done a masterful job in portraying the admittedly superior golfer as some sort of superior human being. Interesting that of his many embarrassed major sponsors, only Nike which peddles athletic equipment not "prestige" products or services, appears to be ready to stick with Tiger indefinitely.
BRIAN KELLY The much admired football coach who brought the previously obscure University of Cincinnati team to the 2010 Sugar Bowl game quit 2 weeks before such game to take a more lucrative job at Notre Dame. His shocked team was thereupon annihilated by Florida 51-24. Speaking of the disgusting record of college coaches how about MIKE LEACH of Texas Tech, outstanding molder of "student-athletes" who was fired just before the Alamo Bowl (won by his team) for abusing a player who had complained of a concussion. There are few heroes among the college coaching fraternity (see payoffs to recruits among other examples of "heroic" conduct).
Of course, we also have many former heroes in baseball, such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire all tarnished by steroids after all attaining the pinnacle of admiration.
Who to believe in, admire, even consider a hero? Not exactly glamorous icons to be fawned upon but how about firefighters, police officers, emergency room personnel, the military? Just not the American way, is it?
Nowhere is this more apparent than in the sports world where new heroes emerge as quickly as others are shamed. Sadly, so many of the disgraced idols are revered by the youth of America, fueled by incredible commercial exploitation. Thus the old maxim that the higher one rises, the more swiftly one falls is constantly in evidence today. Many of these individuals should, of course, never been considered heroes (except by their sponsors). Consider a few examples:
GILBERT ARENAS The eccentric (and of course wildly overpaid) Washington Wizards star has been totally unmasked as nothing more than a thug by bringing guns into the Wizards' locker room, allegedly brandishing one at a teammate, who may have reciprocated, and then mocking the whole process in a pregame exhibition of arrogance and stupidity. Could anyone possibly still admire him for any reason?
TIGER WOODS More the darling of corporate America than young people who tend to concentrate on team sports (fantasy golf anyone?) no one in or out of sports has better exemplified the rapid plummet from grace (as well as providing incredible fodder for the sensationalist media)as Tiger. Obviously his image team had done a masterful job in portraying the admittedly superior golfer as some sort of superior human being. Interesting that of his many embarrassed major sponsors, only Nike which peddles athletic equipment not "prestige" products or services, appears to be ready to stick with Tiger indefinitely.
BRIAN KELLY The much admired football coach who brought the previously obscure University of Cincinnati team to the 2010 Sugar Bowl game quit 2 weeks before such game to take a more lucrative job at Notre Dame. His shocked team was thereupon annihilated by Florida 51-24. Speaking of the disgusting record of college coaches how about MIKE LEACH of Texas Tech, outstanding molder of "student-athletes" who was fired just before the Alamo Bowl (won by his team) for abusing a player who had complained of a concussion. There are few heroes among the college coaching fraternity (see payoffs to recruits among other examples of "heroic" conduct).
Of course, we also have many former heroes in baseball, such as Barry Bonds, Roger Clemens, Rafael Palmeiro, Sammy Sosa and Mark McGwire all tarnished by steroids after all attaining the pinnacle of admiration.
Who to believe in, admire, even consider a hero? Not exactly glamorous icons to be fawned upon but how about firefighters, police officers, emergency room personnel, the military? Just not the American way, is it?
Monday, December 14, 2009
What a Year It Has Been
It seems like every December, stories abound recapping all the events, large and small, that have defined the year then coming to a close. We'd all have to agree that 2009 has been quite a year, although most of TNB's predictions (see December 31, 2008 post) unfortunately didn't pan out, not surprising when you consider they were made tongue in cheek. A prediction that Oprah would announce the end of her talk show came true except that she didn't state that the main reason was that she was fed up with lying authors. Also, we're not quite sure if the prediction that Barack Obama would resume smoking (assuming he really had quit) came true or not. But who cares? Look at the unpredictable (and unpredicted) things that did happen such as:
- The Octomom giving birth to 8 babies apparently artificially conceived. Can cloning of humans be far behind?
- Susan Boyle, obscure British plain Jane, becoming a singing sensation.
- Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina taking a hike up the Appalachian Trail and winding up in Argentina. (Wife Jenny just told him, through her divorce lawyers, to take a hike).
- Bernie Madoff winding up in a Federal prison in North Carolina with a 150 year sentence or about 3 years for each BILLION $ that his victims lost to his fraud.
- Michael Jackson, the self-styled King of Pop, dying suddenly apparently from a sleeping potion gone wrong (administered by his personal physician!)
- Tom DeLay, disgraced former House majority leader, making a huge fool of himself on "reality show" Dancing With the Stars.
- Patti Blagojevich, wife of disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (no slouch at making a fool of himself on TV and radio) making a huge fool of herself by allegedly swallowing insects on "reality show" I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
- All sorts of idiotic reality show wannabees (the Salahis, balloon boy parents, etc.) achieving their 15 minutes of fame while the media lusted after them.
- Modern day pirates, absent the cachet of Johnny Depp or even Capt. Hook, terrorizing the high seas more or less with impunity.
- Tiger Woods, king of not only golf but of celebrity commercialism, slipping so badly from his absurdly elevated image, that his only possible redemption will be to appear on Oprah's final show (in 2011!) with Elin in hand (probably $100 million richer), doing a public mea culpa and receiving a hug and absolution from the real Queen (forget about Elizabeth).
Can 2010 be any crazier? Stay tuned.
Tuesday, December 8, 2009
The Reality of TV
The recent news that major cable provider Comcast is (subject to Federal government approval)acquiring a 51% interest in NBC Universal, which of course includes the iconic National Broadcasting Company, is a little unsettling.
In addition to the possible ultimate loss of the NBC brand (just like Sears Tower and Marshall Field's) there appears to be a real threat to the position of broadcast TV vs. cable, which of course is Comcast's business. Although NBC for example has a strong news division, its entertainment sector is hurting badly --no more "must see TV" as in the heyday of Seinfeld, Cheers and ER. In fact, most of the highly rated broadcast shows on all 4 major networks are so-called reality shows, generally cheaper to produce and catering to all manner of TV watchers.
Where would broadcast TV be without the likes of the Survivor franchise, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, The Biggest Loser, etc? The latter show incidentally has been plagued by accusations of dangerous weight loss techniques, fake scales, etc. Many other "reality shows" are obviously scripted (how about the various Apprentice programs?).
The scariest (saddest?) phenomenon has been the emergence of a new sub-class of "reality wannabes" ranging from the Hennes of balloon-boy infamy to the Salahis of gate crasher infamy. Michaele Salahi was apparently hoping to land a spot on something called "Real Housewives of Washington DC". BTW, does this mean that all other housewives are unreal? Just asking.
Given the irresistible lure of appearing in front of a TV camera (even looking stupid) for a huge number of Americans, don't expect the latest news (Comcast/NBC) to improve the quality of programs on broadcast TV. Look for scripted dramas, etc. to gradually continue to morph onto cable so that the only person you'll recognize on network TV will be your neighbor.
In addition to the possible ultimate loss of the NBC brand (just like Sears Tower and Marshall Field's) there appears to be a real threat to the position of broadcast TV vs. cable, which of course is Comcast's business. Although NBC for example has a strong news division, its entertainment sector is hurting badly --no more "must see TV" as in the heyday of Seinfeld, Cheers and ER. In fact, most of the highly rated broadcast shows on all 4 major networks are so-called reality shows, generally cheaper to produce and catering to all manner of TV watchers.
Where would broadcast TV be without the likes of the Survivor franchise, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, The Biggest Loser, etc? The latter show incidentally has been plagued by accusations of dangerous weight loss techniques, fake scales, etc. Many other "reality shows" are obviously scripted (how about the various Apprentice programs?).
The scariest (saddest?) phenomenon has been the emergence of a new sub-class of "reality wannabes" ranging from the Hennes of balloon-boy infamy to the Salahis of gate crasher infamy. Michaele Salahi was apparently hoping to land a spot on something called "Real Housewives of Washington DC". BTW, does this mean that all other housewives are unreal? Just asking.
Given the irresistible lure of appearing in front of a TV camera (even looking stupid) for a huge number of Americans, don't expect the latest news (Comcast/NBC) to improve the quality of programs on broadcast TV. Look for scripted dramas, etc. to gradually continue to morph onto cable so that the only person you'll recognize on network TV will be your neighbor.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Obfuscation
Obfuscation can be defined as something deliberately unclear or unintelligible. While we are all subjected to daily (hourly?) attempts to obfuscate, particularly by politicians, the art of doing so has perhaps reached new heights lately. Consider:
TIGER WOODS--The P.R. damage from his 3 AM encounter with a fire hydrant and tree (and perhaps his wife's wrath)has escalated exponentially with each attempt to obfuscate by his agent, lawyers, spin doctors, spokespersons (even his mother-in-law in Sweden has one), friends, neighbors, gofers and generally anyone purporting to speak on his behalf, since he won't. The carefully crafted image, which helps to rake in millions in endorsements (along with his undeniable golf prowess)is rapidly eroding which means that when Tiger inevitably has to appear again in public in early 2010 (unless he's quitting the tour!)a new, improved round of obfuscation will no doubt emerge. WANTED: Master Obfuscator. Fee, no problem.
WHITE HOUSE CRASHERS-- While appearing (without compensation, they were quick to note) on the Today Show, Michaele and Tareq Salahi "answered" Matt Lauer's direct question of who invited them to last week's State dinner by replying that it was up to the Secret Service's timetable as to when they produced the evidence. For a high degree of obfuscation, not to mention gigantic chutzpah, the Salahis are hereby awarded the TNB 2009 Liars of the Year prize, consisting of 2 tickets to the next World Series game at Wrigley Field.
SAMMY SOSA-- Just when you thought Sammy reached the zenith in obfuscation several years ago when he stonewalled a Congressional committee investigating steroids use in baseball by pretending he didn't understand English (he brought along an interpreter)he now wants us to believe that his skin has turned accidentally white because of some special cream he needed to combat the effects of playing day baseball at the aforementioned Wrigley Field. Next bit of obfuscation will no doubt attempt to explain his corked bat.
It's getting difficult to believe anything (except of course what you read here).
TIGER WOODS--The P.R. damage from his 3 AM encounter with a fire hydrant and tree (and perhaps his wife's wrath)has escalated exponentially with each attempt to obfuscate by his agent, lawyers, spin doctors, spokespersons (even his mother-in-law in Sweden has one), friends, neighbors, gofers and generally anyone purporting to speak on his behalf, since he won't. The carefully crafted image, which helps to rake in millions in endorsements (along with his undeniable golf prowess)is rapidly eroding which means that when Tiger inevitably has to appear again in public in early 2010 (unless he's quitting the tour!)a new, improved round of obfuscation will no doubt emerge. WANTED: Master Obfuscator. Fee, no problem.
WHITE HOUSE CRASHERS-- While appearing (without compensation, they were quick to note) on the Today Show, Michaele and Tareq Salahi "answered" Matt Lauer's direct question of who invited them to last week's State dinner by replying that it was up to the Secret Service's timetable as to when they produced the evidence. For a high degree of obfuscation, not to mention gigantic chutzpah, the Salahis are hereby awarded the TNB 2009 Liars of the Year prize, consisting of 2 tickets to the next World Series game at Wrigley Field.
SAMMY SOSA-- Just when you thought Sammy reached the zenith in obfuscation several years ago when he stonewalled a Congressional committee investigating steroids use in baseball by pretending he didn't understand English (he brought along an interpreter)he now wants us to believe that his skin has turned accidentally white because of some special cream he needed to combat the effects of playing day baseball at the aforementioned Wrigley Field. Next bit of obfuscation will no doubt attempt to explain his corked bat.
It's getting difficult to believe anything (except of course what you read here).
Monday, November 9, 2009
20/20 Hindsight
The term "20/20 Hindsight" of course refers to the phenomenon whereby someone or some group gains perfect understanding of an event after it has happened. The gaining of such knowledge through retrospection, rather than being aware of circumstances as they unfold in real time, is constantly causing second (and third) guessers to become often justifiably upset.
If only the obvious dots had been connected concerning the 9/11 hijackers, which in 20/20 hindsight were glaringly apparent! Or the many warning signs/red flags which were overlooked or ignored, allowing Bernie Madoff to continue his epic swindle. Or the California kidnapping and imprisonment of a young girl by a known sexual predator (which went on for 18 years until discovered). And on and on.
Now we are experiencing 20/20 hindsight conerning the alleged perpetrator of the horrific Fort Hood massacre -- one Maj. Nidal Hasan, an apparent failure as an Army psychiatrist counseling (!) soldiers with emotional issues. Not to mention his anti U.S. rantings (from an Army officer) and many other obvious clues he planted--but no one noticed enough to say or do anything. How typical. Now, when it's too late (13 dead, 31 injured) as usual a lot of people have belatedly awakened (see the Virginia Tech massacre, etc.) that a very disturbed person was roaming around freely. It's too scary to get involved beforehand, but oh the (safe) benefits of 20/20 hindsight.
TNB believes that today's wondrous technology should permit the development of 20/20 foresight (not to be used for investments, gambling and other selfish pursuits). Let him know where some can be obtained.
If only the obvious dots had been connected concerning the 9/11 hijackers, which in 20/20 hindsight were glaringly apparent! Or the many warning signs/red flags which were overlooked or ignored, allowing Bernie Madoff to continue his epic swindle. Or the California kidnapping and imprisonment of a young girl by a known sexual predator (which went on for 18 years until discovered). And on and on.
Now we are experiencing 20/20 hindsight conerning the alleged perpetrator of the horrific Fort Hood massacre -- one Maj. Nidal Hasan, an apparent failure as an Army psychiatrist counseling (!) soldiers with emotional issues. Not to mention his anti U.S. rantings (from an Army officer) and many other obvious clues he planted--but no one noticed enough to say or do anything. How typical. Now, when it's too late (13 dead, 31 injured) as usual a lot of people have belatedly awakened (see the Virginia Tech massacre, etc.) that a very disturbed person was roaming around freely. It's too scary to get involved beforehand, but oh the (safe) benefits of 20/20 hindsight.
TNB believes that today's wondrous technology should permit the development of 20/20 foresight (not to be used for investments, gambling and other selfish pursuits). Let him know where some can be obtained.
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