Those Lefty Liberals

It's a source of constant amazement to TNB that the word "liberal" has become synonomous in some (read: Republican) circles with far-out, anti-American, godless creatures who eat their young when not turning into vampires at night. After all, the word only means someone who is open to new opinions and favorable to invididual rights and freedoms. But especially when paired with "lefty", the term is a rallying cry for the Real Americans (read: Tea Party) who want to "take back our country" (read: suppress minorities, eliminate a woman's right to choose, peer into every bed to make sure two people from the same gender are not occupying it, etc.).

In fact people who really are liberal are reluctant to use the term which has been generally replaced by the softer "progressive" which still of course rankles those who haven't come to grips that we're in 2011, not say 1911 when times were a lot simpler ( except for many of our immigrant forefathers who around that time weren't considered real Americans either).

Don't you wonder why the word "conservative" meaning adhering to traditional attitudes and cautious about change doesn't have the same negative connotation among people with opposite political views? Maybe the latter, being (OK here it comes) "liberal" just are nicer and more open-minded. OR maybe the lefties ought to resort to some nasty name-calling.

Why not start calling these people what they really are--fascists which is defined as those who hold extreme, intolerant views? But this won't happen. The Seven Little Dwarfs (oops--the announced Republican presidential candidates) will attack President Obama as a socialist and worse (see: Newt Gingrich). The Democrats will never resort in kind (see: Swift Boating, Willie Horton and other GOP election viciousness).

Unfortunately too many liberals just don't have the balls --Wait a minute, there is Anthony Weiner.

Vest On Fire

After beleagured Ohio State football coach Jim Tressel was forced to resign due to disclosure of a series of his lies and cover-ups concerning certain off-field behavior by some of his players, fans of archrival Michigan paid to erect a billboard (in Michigan of course) which stated in large red Ohio State letters "Liar Liar Vest on Fire", which was both a play on the childhood taunt "liar liar pants on fire" and a mocking of the trademark red vest always exhibited by Tressel. [Full disclosure: several members of TNB's family are ardent Michigan fans, and of course that school, along with Southern Cal, Auburn, Connecticut, etc. has had its share of bad behavior--often by sanctimonious, hypocritical head coaches--sort of an occupational hazard].

Big-time college sports, of course, is totally out of control, being "policed" by the incredibly ineffectual NCAA, which among other things, permitted 6 of Tressel's star players to play in this year's Sugar Bowl (after being pressured by the Bowl organizers) despite being suspended for part of next season for the very infractions that eventually led to Tressel's downfall. Just in case you're wondering what these huge revenue producing sports mean to universities (besides providing a "healthy learning environment" for the so-called student-athletes), you may be surprised that a few months ago during the Tressel investigation, Ohio State President Gordon Gee, when asked if he was going to fire the head coach replied "I hope he doesn't dismiss me" (honestly!). Gee's salary is $2 million compared to Tressel's now former compensation of $4 million but hey who brings in more money? (The president doesn't have any endorsements either).

Isn't it comforting to parents who cough up 50 grand or so per year for their child's education (or to students who need to borrow big sums) to realize that the most important "educator" is often the head football coach? Are our priorities screwed up or what?

Anyway, so that we don't all quickly forget whatever lessons might be taken away from this incident, TNB is establishing the Vest on Fire award, to be given annually to the biggest liar among public figures such as politicians, coaches, TV pundits and just about anybody well-known. Early nominees include Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rod Blagojevich, Karl Rove, Newt Gingrich, Sarah Palin and Tiger Woods. Jim Tressel is ineligible.

The Ugly Frenchman

The term Ugly American gained notoriety some years ago when it was generally used to refer to overbearing American tourists who didn't know how to properly conduct themselves overseas, especially in the postwar years when visiting the "more sophisticated " European countries, such as France (which of course we Yanks and our British friends saved from having to Sprechen Sie Deutsch forever).

Although France is inarguably a great place to see, the experience there is often spoiled by having to deal with the locals--sort of an entire population of Ugly Frenchmen, many of whom are rude and arrogant, not to mention guilty of the most disgusting habits such as "irregular" bathing, letting dogs poop up the sidewalks, revering Jerry Lewis, etc. But these sociological or cultural differences represented mostly harmless quirks (unless you're in an elevator with a Parisian on a hot day) until this week when mon dieu we Americans, in our simpleminded pursuit of justice, managed to offend the entire French nation.

Our sin? We dared to arrest a powerful French politician and (until yesterday) head of the International Monetary Fund, one Dominique Strauss-Kahn, known in his home country as DSK. Considered a leading (Socialist!) candidate to defeat President Sarkozy in the next election, DSK who was arrested for raping an African immigrant chambermaid in the Sofitel Hotel in Manhattan, recently told a French interviewer that his three main obstacles to becoming President were his wealth, his love of women (twice divorced and quite the alleged serial seducer) and his Jewishness.

At least in New York City , there haven't been any accusations of anti-Semitism in his jailing. But his sleazebag American lawyer (infamous for representing sleazebag celebs like Michael Jackson) has come up with a number of defenses trying to secure bail for DSK, while trying of course to shift blame to the victim,. Let's try consensual sex, a lunch date DSK had with his daughter (at the same time?), a set up by Sarkozy's people (using an uneducated 32 year old from Guinea??), etc. Gotta love his lawyer's imagination.

But putting all that aside, the real revelation has been the attitude of many Frenchmen, including portions of their media. How dare we uncivilized Americans march DSK in a photographed perp walk, lock him up in Rikers Island with "scum", offer him "bad food" and so on? In France, the high and mighty aren't treated this way. A discreet payoff --l'affaire is forgotten. TNB had almost forgotten just how Ugly Frenchmen could be until their media revealed the name of the poor victim--something we generally don't do here. Who's Ugly anyway??

Well Handled Sir

On Saturday evening April 30th, during what turned out to be the most satisfying week of the Obama presidency, the President appeared as is customary, at the annual White House Correspondents dinner. Despite what he and relatively few others knew was scheduled to occur within 24 hours in Pakistan, Obama appeared extremely relaxed as he positively skewered the "carnival barker" Donald Trump, windbag self-promoter and would be presidential candidate. Obama addressed the Donald, sitting grim faced in the audience, by stating how "impressed " he was with his presidential credentials, citing the tough decision he faced, no doubt keeping him up nights, as to whom to fire from his failed men's cooking team, before settling on hapless Gary Busey. Obama told Trump, with more than a hint of sarcasm , "well handled, sir".

As a fitting irony, the next night just as Trump's idiotic "reality" show Celebrity Apprentice was droning on to its climax it (and all other TV fare) was interrupted for the President's dramatic announcement of the killing of Osama Bin Laden. So in one weekend, Trump was shown to be totally irrelevant, which of course he always was.

Subsequently as more details became known about the operation, it finally put to rest (or should have) this idea put forth by the GOP (Grossly Obnoxious People) that Obama was some sort of indecisive wimp, unlike his cowboy predecessor whose apologists of course rushed to expound that it was really Bush who deserves most of the credit (?). Of course, since Obama is black it's not possible in the minds of an unfortunately sizable minority of Americans that he could possibly be effective (see: the birther nonsense).

In reality Obama is cautious and thorough whereas Bush was prone to rush to judgment (see: Iraq). TNB is very glad that we have this high quality individual as our President.

Well handled, sir!

Is it 2012 Yet?

Just when everyone (even Chicago area residents who just selected mayors, etc.) thought that the rest of 2011 might provide a needed respite from electioneering and politicking, there are some sure signs of Spring in an odd numbered year--the next election cycle is starting. It's "almost"2012 to politicians-- albeit so far without the repetitive, negative TV ads, flyers and robo calls--but don't be surprised to see them earlier than ever next year (or maybe as an early Christmas present). As this is being written, President Obama, with no primary opponent to worry about, is in his hometown of Chicago for 3 fundraisers, one featuring star Bulls guard Derrick Rose (also a hometown boy). And while his first two+ years in office have been somewhat rocky, Obama's reelection chances as of today don't look all that bad when you consider the probable Republican field.

Mitt Romney Dull is probably a compliment for Mitt who when governor of Massachusetts presided over a health care plan eerily similar to the much despised "Obamacare". BTW, did you notice that the GOP (Paul Ryan) proposed super-severe budget contains certain elements of that very same health care bill? What would hypocrisy be without politicians?

Mike Huckabee His appeal is mainly to "good ole boys" from rural areas and other simple minded folk. Wait a minute--the latter could be a majority of Americans . Ouch!

Newt Gingrich Possibly would face some searing "character issue" questions concerning two wives he dumped while each had medical problems. Also, he's not very personable, which of course is important if one hopes to get elected (see George W. Bush).

Sarah Palin Also has questions of character. Main appeal is to the "ignorance is bliss" (or blissfully ignorant) crowd which sadly (see Huckabee) is a voting bloc to reckon with.

Michelle Bachmann Sort of Sarah without all of the personal warts. Don't dismiss her so fast.

Donald Trump Riding to the rescue to save the party from the other mediocrities, the Donald has emerged as a viable candidate, despite the fact that his program largely consists of reviving the worn out "birther" issue and as any other great con man might do, totally obfuscating his qualifications (his string of failed businesses, his cheesy unreality show, his "style "which would no doubt go over well with world leaders, etc.). If he's being taken seriously by Republican voters the President can relax a little.

Unpredictable

In our society we are used to attempting to predict the future. Most obviously, the weather is predicted practically to the hour, if you care, and with the aid of modern technology usually the short-term (say 24 hours) forecast is reasonably accurate but as far as the say 7 day prognosis well, who really remembers it seven days later? Certainly not the weatherman.

High tech aids, however, aren't of much use for predicting most other events that significantly affect us. Even TNB in his (mostly tongue in cheek) 2011 forecast, published less than three months ago, utterly failed to sense that the following was going to occur before the first quarter of the year was over:

• The upheaval all across the Middle East and North Africa with a lot yet to be written. Will Gadhaffi go? Will he get asylum anywhere? Will Saudi Arabia be next? What will happen in Iran? If you read or hear any "expert" analysis on what's likely, forget it. No one knows (maybe the Shadow, for those of you old enough to understand).
• The earthquake, tsunami and resultant nuclear disaster in Japan. Sure the nuclear facility was built on a fault (practically all of Japan is) but to have such a "perfect storm" of events occurring would have surprised and baffled Nostradamus.
• The firing of Charlie Sheen from his top-rated TV sitcom Two and a Half Men. Charlie has been nothing but unpredictable of course but to witness such public self-destruction could not have been foreseen. And lest you think that his inclusion in this list trivializes it, who has gotten more attention-- Hosni Mubarak, Japanese Prime Minister Kan or that fascinating bad boy?

BTW, in TNB's defense, he did correctly predict Rahm Emanuel's election as Chicago mayor (OK--it was a slam dunk) but is still waiting for the rest of that prophecy to come true. Still no word on when Chicago City Hall will be moved to Manny's Deli but with David Axelrod back in town, still sounds like a good guess.

I'm Truly Truly Sorry

Have you ever noticed that no matter how irrational, offensive or downright mean an utterance might be when made by a politician it's readily "cured" by the perpetrator offering an effusive apology, sort of like saying "I'm truly truly sorry". How heartfelt or genuine the apology is, or for that matter whether it's been drafted by some hack spinmeister or not is irrelevant. As long as the media reports how sorry the person is, everyone quickly moves on. Well, not everyone--TNB is watching! He doesn't accept "I'm sorry" that easily. Consider:

• Right-wing idiot Glenn Beck had some tall explaining to do after he likened the political activism of Reform rabbis to Islamic extremism. When last seen, Beck was at his dentist having a portion of his foot extracted from his mouth.
• Redneck Georgia GOP Congressman Paul Broun "deeply regretted" not confronting a man (later investigated by the Secret Service) at one of his rallies who asked Broun "who's going to shoot Obama?" Broun, who for several years has compared the President to a Gestapo officer and worse, said that he was too stunned to react. Maybe he's a closet Ku Kluxer [that could be an oxymoron].
• Former Sen. Carol Moseley Braun belatedly and grudgingly apologized for falsely accusing one of her minor Chicago mayoralty opponents of being strung out on crack for the past 20 years. In this case "I'm sorry" didn't suffice and Braun sank to a dismal 4th place finish, with more members of her African-American community (deeply embarrassed by her remarks) voting for winner Rahm Emanuel rather than her. BTW-- Rahm's election is the first (maybe the last) of TNB's New Year's predictions to come true. But, as forecast, he might still move Chicago's City Hall to Manny's Deli.

Non-politicians, who don't have to face the voters aren't always so quick to offer their mea culpas. Troubled (to say the least) Charlie Sheen has not and probably never will take back the rant against his producer that caused Two and a Half Men to be cancelled by CBS. His rant included some barely veiled anti-semitic cracks about the producer. But apparently being a total sleaze in the entertainment world can be part of someone's "charm". Of course, do you remember Mel Gibson?