Those Commie Muppets

At least once every day TNB is thankful for Fox News, protector of the Real America. Just this week the Fox Business Channel disclosed that Disney's new Muppets movie is nothing but a liberal commie plot to subvert the innocent minds of the unsuspecting kids who will watch it since they're too naive to realize that it contains an insidious anticapitalist message. Huh? It seems that the movie's villain who wants to take away the Muppets somewhat neglected property is an oilman who of course wants to (gasp) drill, baby, drill. Thus this so-called children's "entertainment"portrays an obvious job creator in a somewhat negative light. Must be a left wing conspiracy designed to poison those impressionable minds. Good to know that Fox is alert and on the job 24/7.

Actually Fox News should really be occupied with a far more important matter--how to get the country to elect Newt Gingrich president. Now that the GOP conservative base has lost Herman Cain (to the chagrin of comedians everywhere) it appears that the current flavor du jour is the former House speaker who has more baggage than a Samsonite store. Mainstream Republicans like Karl Rove abhor Gingrich knowing that he is likely to self-destruct sooner or later (didn't he just call for poor 10 year olds to do janitorial work?). Despite his lack of principles, spine, etc. Mitt Romney (ugh) might be the last person standing forcing GOP voters to hold their noses while voting for him, if they care to.

But wait--look who might be re-emerging. None other than the Donald, as in Donald Trump who announced that if the eventual nominee isn't satisfactory to him, he'll just take his ball and go home--sorry, he'll run as an independent. That would be great for President Obama since otherwise GOP votes would be siphoned off--sort of like what Ralph Nader did to Al Gore in 2000. It would also be great for comedians--easily compensation for the departure of Cain.

Yes, Fox News--this is where you should be concentrating and leave TNB's grandchildren to enjoy their popcorn and movies in peace.

11/11/11

Many years ago, when TNB's late mother was about to deliver, she unfortunately didn't hurry up by about a half hour so that instead of being born on the mundane date of 11/12, he could have been celebrating a birthday on 11/11/11. Those of you old enough to remember when Veterans Day was Armistice Day, commemorating the end of World War I, will recall that the exact time the armistice was signed (11:11 AM) gave further significance to the numerology of the date.

Of course 11/11/11 is so intriguing a date that huge numbers of couples are apparently rushing to get married today (the mere fact of marriage is especially significant considering our present society). For many of these couples 11/11/11 conveys something spiritual. However considering certain recent events TNB (ever the cynic) is having difficuty channeling this.

There obviously wasn't much spirituality (or morality) exhibited at Penn State where the disgusting child sex abuse scandal (and more disgusting aftermath) just exploded. The "legendary" coach Joe Paterno, whose pedestal certainly cracked, and all the school administrators who like those from the Catholic Church and others were only interested in protecting the institution first (and the perp second) and never mind the innocent victims, have had a swift and deserved fall from grace. Very telling was that 4 of the 9 members of Penn State's Board of Trustees who fired JoePa the other night formerly played for him.

But what rankled TNB the most was the reaction of many in Penn State's student body who rioted to protest the dismissal. Wouldn't you love to pay say $40,000 per year to send your child to college only to have he or she behave like that? Worse yet, no one protested the concurrent ouster of the university president. Why should they--the head football coach usually earns far more and when you think about it, they're both primarily fund raisers--bringing in all that cash so that tuition can be kept "low"!

Another example of what makes America so great and why other countries are surpassing us in so many ways--our values are all screwed up. Sorry to ruin the spirituality of 11/11/11.

The Eight Little Dwarfs

TNB was amazed at how small all the leading Republicans (the Presidential candidates, Senators like McCain and Graham, Eric Cantor, etc.) appeared when the announcements were made on successive days last week of the death of Muammar Ghaddafy and the upcoming final withdrawal of troops from Iraq . Just like when Osama Bin Laden was tracked down and killed, with of course 100% of the credit going to George W. Bush, this time it was either the British and French who alone brought down the Libyan colonel or Obama's exit strategy from Iraq that was a total failure (wasn't it Bush who agreed in December 2008 to bring the troops home by this December?). And by the way, Rick Perry has "revived" the birther issue only to be severely publicly reprimanded by, of all people, fellow Texan Karl Rove.

If the President announced that cancer had been eradicated, he would get no credit from any of these little people --who all resemble mental midgets. Too bad there are still 8 presidential candidates--the group would be perfect for the remake of the 1937 Disney classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Wait a minute --why not eliminate Jon Huntsman who is going nowhere, doubtlessly because he seems to be both reasonable and (gasp) qualified. So this leaves us with this Oscar worthy cast:

Bashful A perfect role for Mitt Romney who is perpetually shy about sticking to one opinion.
Doc Strangely, Ron Paul does have a medical license.
Dopey A natural for Michele Bachmann.
Grumpy The character was obviously written with Newt Gingrich in mind.
Happy Herman Cain is positively ecstatic at the P.R his ludicrous campaign has created.
Sleepy Is there a better antidote for insomnia than Rick Santorum?
Sneezy There must be some Texas sized allergies that have so clouded Rick Perry's "brain".

You're wondering about Snow White? Who better to portray the innocent virgin than Sarah Palin (or maybe Bristol).

Now you know why Chris Christie loomed so large, in more ways than one.

Dream Matchups

• After several weeks of blog inactivity, partially caused by a bad computer crash (watch out for viruses embedded in mysterious E-Mails) TNB is pleased to report that some semblance of order has come to the race for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination. During this period we have witnessed the rise and fall (self imposed) of New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie who went from a somewhat obscure hugely overweight obnoxious politician to a much better known hugely overweight obnoxious politician. Christie has just endorsed Mitt Romney who has done more flips than an Olympic gymnast on a woman's right to choose, health care and just about anything else that might endear him to the far, far right wing.
  
  Also during this time, Rick Perry has slipped greatly, partially because he has had to speak and not just swagger --OMG it's another George W. Bush, his predecessor as Texas governor. Maybe Texas can merge with Mexico to whom of course they once belonged. Probably Perry was not helped by the "shocking" revelation that his family once operated a ranch named Niggerhead. This has helped the inexplicable rise of Herman Cain who just might be the most inept of all the GOP candidates, which is saying something when the field includes Rick Santorum and Michele Bachmann.
  
  TNB, the ultimate cynic as you all know, cannot fathom that there could really be a race between Cain and Barack Obama. Although when you think of it, this potential All-Black contest might just be a sort of "dream matchup". And if you really think about it (and have a mind as strange as TNB) why not for example some other dream matchups:
  


• All-Jewish ---Rahm Emanuel vs. Eric Cantor. Can't you just anticipate that each of their bar mitzvah speeches will appear on the Internet along with a list of their "donors" back then, i.e. who gave them gifts? Scandalous!



• All-Trailer Trash---Hank Williams, Jr. vs. Sarah Palin. Even though neither one's a Democrat they do represent rednecks from both the South and North. And BTW, are you as fed up as TNB is with the trivialization of Hitler, one of history's Top Ten monsters? It seems as no insult is complete these days without comparing the insultee to Adolf Hitler. Disgusting!


• All-Outrageous Celebrity---Lady Gaga vs. Kim Kardashian. OK, neither one is even 35 years old but who cares? They would be perfect as politicians--despite their shallowness, the public is mesmerized. Nauseating!

Is this the best we can do? Sadly, the answer might be yes.

Goodnight Irene

Hurricane Irene, which wreaked devastating floods on the Mid-Atlantic and New England brought to mind the classic folk song Goodnight Irene, popularized some 60 years ago by the Weavers. While the unfortunate residents cleaning up are saying Goodnight Irene (and good riddance), TNB would like to add some other goodnights (and good riddances) to certain natural disasters we've had to endure:

• Goodnight Michele Is the end nearing for the pitiful presidential campaign of Michele Bachmann? Her latest gaffe, which blamed the hurricane (and the earlier East Coast earthquake) on God taking vengeance on Washington for "not listening"(????) reminds TNB that she is the only candidate so stupid that Sarah Palin actually looks good. A swift goodnight, please!


• Goodnight Dick Unfortunately Darth Vader Cheney is back-- this time with (of course) a self-serving memoir which he promised "would explode heads around Washington". Was he planning to shoot someone in the face again? TNB's major regret is that allegedly he offered his resignation three times in 2004 and W. did not have the courage to accept. As they used to close the old Laugh-In show "Say goodnight Dick".


• Goodnight Muammar They still can't find the two bit tyrant responsible for hundreds of American deaths among many others? There can't be that many hiding places in the Libyan desert. About time to give Col. Gaddafi a goodnight tuck-in he'll be able to cherish forever.

Irene goodnight, Irene goodnight---Goodnight Irene, Goodnight Irene

I'll See You In My Dreams

Who Can You Believe

A friend of TNB recently posed the rhetorical question "Who Can You Believe?" to which the joking response was TNB, of course. But pondering this dilemma makes one realize that, especially if you tend to be skeptical by nature (or by profession considering that TNB was trained as an auditor) there's really not a lot to put your faith in anymore if indeed there ever was. Consider the following:

• Job Creators--- It's very difficult to believe that slightly increasing taxes on the very wealthy will prevent them from "creating jobs". Huh? Many of these people are in the financial services world, where the amount of their income (before or after tax) has no bearing on their ability or desire to create jobs. When one thinks about it, how is it possible for any politician (even a Republican) to radically change the employment picture when so many jobs have been permanently lost to outsourcing, technology and other factors that we have permitted to occur over the last 20 years or so under both parties.



• College Athletics---It's very difficult to believe that big-time college football (and basketball, to a lesser extent) is practiced by "student-athletes " who are not tainted by payoffs and other forms of cheating. And what about their coaches and some of the university administrators? The dollars involved are so huge and the temptation to skirt the rules is so strong that it's a wonder when a school's program is shown to be totally "clean" (usually it's a loser).



• Government Paralysis---It's very difficult to believe that our governments at all levels will ever operate in the best interest of the people. The extreme polarization, unwillingness to compromise and total self absorption (where the primary concern is with re-election, including raising obscene amounts of cash) sadly make it unlikely that the citizenry will ever again trust in their elected officials. Check out the polls ranking Congress, for example.

Does all this sound utterly cynical? Probably so--but it is tempered by the occasional good news such as the remarkable advancement in the treatment of the dreaded ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), the overthrow of Muammar Ghaddafi and the Chicago Cubs firing of their general manager. Hope may not be springing eternal but there is still something to believe in.

Rahm Emanuel for President

Way back in 2008, both candidates vying for the Democratic presidential nomination had strong Chicago ties--Hillary Rodham Clinton, born in Chicago, raised in the suburbs and Barack Obama, born in Honolulu (really!) but who had spent his adult life here. Now with things going poorly, TNB is offering up another (lifelong) Chicagoan as a possible nominee (yes in 2012) for President--namely Mayor Rahm Emanuel. Consider his positives:

• Extensive and intensive experience--Three term Congressman (succeeded Rod Blagojevich!) and White House Chief of Staff (under Obama) before becoming mayor.


• Enormous appeal to Jewish voters (and donors)--historically Democratic but many leaning away from Obama because of mistaken impression that he is anti-Israel (Rahm's father born there).


• Most importantly-- has a documented record of being a relentless, tough, sometimes nasty politician who unlike Obama and Clinton has the required cojones needed to deal with the Tea Party and other crazies in this world (Hillary's lack of course is only biological).

Wait a minute--is TNB suggesting a divisive primary fight? Not at all--TNB's master plan is for Obama to voluntarily become Mayor of Chicago (never mind the details). What a great job for him--no mean Republicans to deal with (not in Chicago), lunch every day at Manny's, getting back to his lovely house (no idiotic renter to get rid of) only a stone's throw from the University of Chicago, where maybe he could at least part-time resume his academic career. Speaking of the U. of C., their lab school would do just fine for Malia and Sasha (Rahm's kids are enrolled there now).

Talk about a win-win situation. Odds, anyone?