What a Year It Has Been

It seems like every December, stories abound recapping all the events, large and small, that have defined the year then coming to a close. We'd all have to agree that 2009 has been quite a year, although most of TNB's predictions (see December 31, 2008 post) unfortunately didn't pan out, not surprising when you consider they were made tongue in cheek. A prediction that Oprah would announce the end of her talk show came true except that she didn't state that the main reason was that she was fed up with lying authors. Also, we're not quite sure if the prediction that Barack Obama would resume smoking (assuming he really had quit) came true or not. But who cares? Look at the unpredictable (and unpredicted) things that did happen such as:

• The Octomom giving birth to 8 babies apparently artificially conceived. Can cloning of humans be far behind?
• Susan Boyle, obscure British plain Jane, becoming a singing sensation.
• Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina taking a hike up the Appalachian Trail and winding up in Argentina. (Wife Jenny just told him, through her divorce lawyers, to take a hike).
• Bernie Madoff winding up in a Federal prison in North Carolina with a 150 year sentence or about 3 years for each BILLION $ that his victims lost to his fraud.
• Michael Jackson, the self-styled King of Pop, dying suddenly apparently from a sleeping potion gone wrong (administered by his personal physician!)
• Tom DeLay, disgraced former House majority leader, making a huge fool of himself on "reality show" Dancing With the Stars.
• Patti Blagojevich, wife of disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (no slouch at making a fool of himself on TV and radio) making a huge fool of herself by allegedly swallowing insects on "reality show" I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
• All sorts of idiotic reality show wannabees (the Salahis, balloon boy parents, etc.) achieving their 15 minutes of fame while the media lusted after them.
• Modern day pirates, absent the cachet of Johnny Depp or even Capt. Hook, terrorizing the high seas more or less with impunity.
• Tiger Woods, king of not only golf but of celebrity commercialism, slipping so badly from his absurdly elevated image, that his only possible redemption will be to appear on Oprah's final show (in 2011!) with Elin in hand (probably $100 million richer), doing a public mea culpa and receiving a hug and absolution from the real Queen (forget about Elizabeth).

Can 2010 be any crazier? Stay tuned.

The Reality of TV

The recent news that major cable provider Comcast is (subject to Federal government approval)acquiring a 51% interest in NBC Universal, which of course includes the iconic National Broadcasting Company, is a little unsettling.

In addition to the possible ultimate loss of the NBC brand (just like Sears Tower and Marshall Field's) there appears to be a real threat to the position of broadcast TV vs. cable, which of course is Comcast's business. Although NBC for example has a strong news division, its entertainment sector is hurting badly --no more "must see TV" as in the heyday of Seinfeld, Cheers and ER. In fact, most of the highly rated broadcast shows on all 4 major networks are so-called reality shows, generally cheaper to produce and catering to all manner of TV watchers.

Where would broadcast TV be without the likes of the Survivor franchise, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, The Biggest Loser, etc? The latter show incidentally has been plagued by accusations of dangerous weight loss techniques, fake scales, etc. Many other "reality shows" are obviously scripted (how about the various Apprentice programs?).

The scariest (saddest?) phenomenon has been the emergence of a new sub-class of "reality wannabes" ranging from the Hennes of balloon-boy infamy to the Salahis of gate crasher infamy. Michaele Salahi was apparently hoping to land a spot on something called "Real Housewives of Washington DC". BTW, does this mean that all other housewives are unreal? Just asking.

Given the irresistible lure of appearing in front of a TV camera (even looking stupid) for a huge number of Americans, don't expect the latest news (Comcast/NBC) to improve the quality of programs on broadcast TV. Look for scripted dramas, etc. to gradually continue to morph onto cable so that the only person you'll recognize on network TV will be your neighbor.

Obfuscation

Obfuscation can be defined as something deliberately unclear or unintelligible. While we are all subjected to daily (hourly?) attempts to obfuscate, particularly by politicians, the art of doing so has perhaps reached new heights lately. Consider:

TIGER WOODS--The P.R. damage from his 3 AM encounter with a fire hydrant and tree (and perhaps his wife's wrath)has escalated exponentially with each attempt to obfuscate by his agent, lawyers, spin doctors, spokespersons (even his mother-in-law in Sweden has one), friends, neighbors, gofers and generally anyone purporting to speak on his behalf, since he won't. The carefully crafted image, which helps to rake in millions in endorsements (along with his undeniable golf prowess)is rapidly eroding which means that when Tiger inevitably has to appear again in public in early 2010 (unless he's quitting the tour!)a new, improved round of obfuscation will no doubt emerge. WANTED: Master Obfuscator. Fee, no problem.

WHITE HOUSE CRASHERS-- While appearing (without compensation, they were quick to note) on the Today Show, Michaele and Tareq Salahi "answered" Matt Lauer's direct question of who invited them to last week's State dinner by replying that it was up to the Secret Service's timetable as to when they produced the evidence. For a high degree of obfuscation, not to mention gigantic chutzpah, the Salahis are hereby awarded the TNB 2009 Liars of the Year prize, consisting of 2 tickets to the next World Series game at Wrigley Field.

SAMMY SOSA-- Just when you thought Sammy reached the zenith in obfuscation several years ago when he stonewalled a Congressional committee investigating steroids use in baseball by pretending he didn't understand English (he brought along an interpreter)he now wants us to believe that his skin has turned accidentally white because of some special cream he needed to combat the effects of playing day baseball at the aforementioned Wrigley Field. Next bit of obfuscation will no doubt attempt to explain his corked bat.

It's getting difficult to believe anything (except of course what you read here).

20/20 Hindsight

The term "20/20 Hindsight" of course refers to the phenomenon whereby someone or some group gains perfect understanding of an event after it has happened. The gaining of such knowledge through retrospection, rather than being aware of circumstances as they unfold in real time, is constantly causing second (and third) guessers to become often justifiably upset.

If only the obvious dots had been connected concerning the 9/11 hijackers, which in 20/20 hindsight were glaringly apparent! Or the many warning signs/red flags which were overlooked or ignored, allowing Bernie Madoff to continue his epic swindle. Or the California kidnapping and imprisonment of a young girl by a known sexual predator (which went on for 18 years until discovered). And on and on.

Now we are experiencing 20/20 hindsight conerning the alleged perpetrator of the horrific Fort Hood massacre -- one Maj. Nidal Hasan, an apparent failure as an Army psychiatrist counseling (!) soldiers with emotional issues. Not to mention his anti U.S. rantings (from an Army officer) and many other obvious clues he planted--but no one noticed enough to say or do anything. How typical. Now, when it's too late (13 dead, 31 injured) as usual a lot of people have belatedly awakened (see the Virginia Tech massacre, etc.) that a very disturbed person was roaming around freely. It's too scary to get involved beforehand, but oh the (safe) benefits of 20/20 hindsight.

TNB believes that today's wondrous technology should permit the development of 20/20 foresight (not to be used for investments, gambling and other selfish pursuits). Let him know where some can be obtained.

Racism is Thriving

In a post less than five months ago, on June 2, 2009, entitled "Racism is Alive" TNB decried the then swelling racism in the United States, primarily as evidenced by the Sonia Sotomayor Supreme Court nomination (BTW, did anyone notice her initial performance on the Court when she asked more questions than Clarence Thomas cumulatively has expressed in 18 years?). Sad to say things appear to have gotten much worse to the extent that racism is not only alive but thriving. Consider just a few examples recently reported:

• Louisiana Justice of Peace Keith Bardwell refused to marry an interracial couple, stating that he believed the children of such marriages suffer. Let's see--there's Derek Jeter, Tiger Woods and some fellow named Barack Obama, just for starters. Welcome to 1909, Keith--you're a century too late.
• Taos, New Mexico hotel owner Larry Whitten fired some of his Hispanic employees (Taos is 70% Hispanic) for speaking Spanish in front of him (he thinks, probably correctly, that they're talking badly about him) and for refusing to Anglicize their first names. Marcos would become Mark, Maria will be Mary, Jose will be Joe, etc. if this enlightened gentleman prevails. Welcome to the Southwestern U.S., Larry, you too are obviously living way in the past.
• ESPN college football analyst Bob Griese, who should know better having spent his adult life involved with the heavily integrated sport (including his many champion years as quarterback of the Miami Dolphins) carelessly remarked that race driver Juan Pablo Montoya would probably not finish in the top 5 of the Nascar standings because he was frequently occupied eating tacos. If Montoya worked for Larry Whitten, he of course would be John Paul.

Is it TNB's imagination working in overdrive or do the recent increases in racially insensitive incidents result largely from the incredible (and acceptable to many) antipathy to the President because of the color of his skin? We sure have a long way to go.

Does Anything Ever Change

After a month long hiatus, which included a European trip, TNB has returned to find that, although some of the names and circumstances have changed, essentially human behavior hasn't. You can always count on strange events or individual flaws or foibles to provide matters of interest. Witness the following:

• After a Herculean and very expensive effort (and a last minute trip to Copenhagen by President Obama), Chicago received a grand total of 18 votes out of 94 from the International Olympic Committee and was eliminated on the first ballot as the site for the 2016 Summer Olympics. This disappointment was met with raucous cheers from the far right because, although it might be an insult to the United States, it showed to them that Obama was weak!
• Exactly one week later several hundred miles north in Oslo, President Obama was amazingly (and very prematurely) awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. This surprise was met with raucous boos from the far right, because although it might be a compliment to the United States, it showed to them that Obama was weak!
• After not only the above events but the continuing viciousness over health care reform, Rush Limbaugh was asked if he could find one thing positive about the President and replied that he had a good voice. Rush of course had a bad week when he was removed from a list of potential investors seeking to purchase the NFL St. Louis Rams because of his well documented instances of spewing racial hatred (the NFL is 65% African-American). Rush blamed the whole debacle on that guy with the good voice. Really.
• On a somewhat different note, the media was transfixed by the balloon boy incident thus proving that "reality TV" (often scripted) and those who aspire to participate are taking over our culture. OMG!
• Finally, in a lightly reported incident at Madison Square Garden, the coach of an Israeli basketball team playing an exhibition against the New York Knicks was ejected but refused to leave until a rabbi, with yarmulke affixed, who was traveling with the team (which raises funds for an orphanage in Israel) had to come onto the court to intervene. Perhaps he could get invoved in mediating the Middle Eastern conflict. OY VEY!

It's obviously good to be home.

El Toro Crapo

For many years the comedy duo The Smothers Brothers have included in their largely clean routine the made up Spanglish sounding term El Toro Crapo which of course is a euphemism for the common vulgarity B.S. When one assesses the state of some of our institutions and celebrities the inescapable conclusion is El Toro Crapo. Consider:

• Joe Wilson, the idiot South Carolina congressman who was censured by the House of Representatives for shouting "you lie!" at President Obama turns out to bear the actual birth name Addison Graves Wilson. He's no more a Joe than Joe the Plumber (nee Samuel Wurzlbacher and also not a plumber) nor probably Sarah Palin's idol Joe Sixpack. TNB's take on what you hear from this entire group is El Toro Crapo.
• Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player ever but never mistaken for the greatest person (check out his relatively paltry charitable history) managed at his ungracious Hall of Fame acceptance speech to go out of his way to offend anyone who might have slighted him such as his high school coach who initially cut him from the team over 30 years ago, his college coach (the legendary Dean Smith) for some imagined oversight and several others who have unfortunately challenged him over the years. TNB's opinion on MJ's remarks and most of his other utterances is El Toro Crapo.
• Speaking of overpaid, spoiled athletes, tennis star Serena Williams, who had a profane meltdown at the US Open when she threatened violent harm to a lineswoman just doing her job, took 2 days to apologize after no doubt being warned by her many corporate sponsors (the $10,000 fine levied on her was chump change compared to her winnings). TNB's belief in the sincerity of said apology is that it is El Toro Crapo.
• As far as sincerity is concerned how about all the shocked right wing ideologues who constantly deny that much of their virulent opposition to Obama (especially the ludicrous reaction to his address to schoolchildren) is, as suggested by TNB last week, no more than disguised racism and their inability to accept a black man as President. Each person who persists in these denials (including people known personally to TNB) will henceforth be greeted with El Toro Crapo.