Happy Mid Year

These days it seems like so much is happening (partially a result of the information explosion which transmits news of all sorts instantaneously) that it no longer is appropriate to have just a year-end summary. Indeed why not such a summary at mid year which of course is now here? This way, you might recall some of the following events:

Still in the News:

• The Oil Spill. It's not improbable that unfortunately this will still be a major story at the end of the year (of course November's midterm elections are huge). Few heroes but many losers!

Pretty Much Forgotten:

• The Haitian Earthquake. Now that it's been supplanted by all things BP, does anyone care what has happened to the beleagured Haitian people? Sadly, yesterday's tragedy du jour.
• Tiger Woods. Not much coverage anymore especially since he has failed to excel on his return to competitive golf. And then of course there's Jesse James (no, not the outlaw) and others to keep the tabloid fires burning.
• Jay Leno/Conan O'Brien. Why was so much made of one multimillionaire late night star pushing another one off the air temporarily? In more ways than one, much ado about nothing.
• The Winter Olympics. Quick, name 3 medal winners. OK, there's Apollo Ohno, Lindsay Vonn and let me think awhile. Interesting entertainment for a few weeks but egregiously overpromoted by NBC, which lost a small fortune televising the Games. But the lead-ins to their regular programming! WOW!
• The Implosion Of Toyota. Unbelievable damage to a respected brand, with the result that Toyota recently erected a huge sign at Wrigley Field, home of another formerly respected brand--the Chicago Cubs.

After laboriously churning out this summary, TNB will now go out and celebrate Mid Years Eve in the traditional fashion--joining other like minded revelers (grateful that they've survived another six months) for a nightcap. That is, if anything's open past 10 PM.

Joe the Oil Apologist

Remember way back in 2008 when Joe the Plumber burst onto the scene and was quickly anointed a hero by John McCain and Fox News? Turned out of course that he was neither "Joe" nor a working plumber but his temporary elevation to cult status probably to some extent presaged the rise of the so-called Tea Party. BTW, do you ever wonder if say Joe Biden were President whether the Tea Party rhetoric would be so vicious? Just saying.

Anyway, back to our latest Joe hero--actually named Joe Barton. He's the Republican congressman from Texas, long financed by the oil industry, who's the ranking minority member on the House Energy Committee (he'll be chairman if the Republicans win the House in November). At today's Committee hearing called to publicly excoriate BP CEO Tony Hayward, Joe briefly stole the show when he "apologized" to Hayward for yesterday's White House "shakedown" (Joe's words) whereby BP agreed to forego its 2010 dividend and place $20 billion in an escrow fund to compensate victims (those "small people" as called by BP's Chairman the other day!) of the Gulf of Mexico spill.


After both Democrats (no surprise) and the Republican leadership (doing damage control) disavowed Joe's remarks, Joe spent the afternoon retracting his earlier "apology", in effect apologizing for it. He, of course had been threatened with having his seniority rights stripped away, a fate second only to losing his oil industry donations. After all the "spin" cleared what remained was the absolute certainty that Joe really meant it all along--and he's hardly the only "oil apologist"in the Republican ranks. Had the spill gone West, towards Texas, instead of heading East, TNB wonders what apology Joe would have uttered.


What is it with the name Joe anyway? During the last State of the Union address, President Obama was heckled from the House floor by previously obscure GOP representative Joe Wilson of Georgia who promptly raked in millions in donations. Is there any doubt that this a great country? TNB may change his name to "Joe the Blogger"--guaranteed to be a winner.

Don't Whistle at Night

When TNB's hometown Chicago Blackhawks won their conference final the other day, a brand new superstition was revealed to him. Athletes are notoriously superstitious but TNB was surprised (this was first conference final win for Blackhawks since 1992) that their captain, Jonathan Toews, refused on national television to touch the trophy awarded to the winning team for fear that this would jinx them in the upcoming Stanley Cup finals.

While this might sound extreme, it's worth noting that most everyone, no matter how intelligent and educated, still harbors certain superstitions which are really the irrational beliefs that unseen forces control one's fate or certain events usually with a negative effect. Many of these notions of course go back to childhood and have been passed down from generation to generation ("old wives' tales"). Consider some examples:

Those Indicating Bad Luck:

• Spilling Salt
• Black Cat Crossing Your Path
• The Number 13 (You'll never find a 13th floor in a hotel or office building)
• Walking Under a Ladder
• Breaking a Mirror
• Opening an Umbrella Indoors

Those Indicating Good Luck (or at least some chance):

• Rabbit's Foot
• Knocking on Wood
• Crossing Your Fingers
• Blessing Someone Who Has Sneezed
• Breaking a Turkey Wishbone

Honestly, don't you believe, at least subconsciously in some of the above? Hopefully, you're not obsessed with most of the above (or others). TNB will confess that he has one phobia (recently acquired, but it makes "sense").

TNB follows the maxim "Don't Whistle at Night". It is a "scientific fact" (unlike all of the foregoing superstitions) that if you do, it will bring out the snakes who might bite. References will be furnished on request.

Who Can You Believe

Many years ago (when TNB was a youth) people generally believed in institutions such as schools, churches and synagogues, banks, the government and so on. Also, perhaps naively, most of us believed in doctors, lawyers, teachers, clergymen, bankers and public officials. How times have changed! Although of course there still are believable individuals and entities, we have all become so skeptical and cynical that it is fair to ask "Who Can You Believe?"

For example, just about no one today believes or admires politicians. If they are not lying about their background (see Connecticut Atty. Gen. Richard Blumenthal's fake Vietnam service record), they are hypocritically trumpeting their non-existent "family values" (see South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford, Indiana Rep. Mark Souder, etc. etc.). And then there's former Illinois Gov. Rod ("the Hair") Blagojevich who can't be believed about anything, although it remains to be seen just how gullible his soon-to-be-selected jurors are.

Our religious institutions don't have the same aura they once did, at least partially because all too many in the clergy have been exposed as all too human. Incredibly, some teachers have shown that they can't be trusted with children. And although it was always a good idea to "trust but verify" when entering into business transactions, in recent years it has almost been impossible (or impossibly stupid) to trust anyone (see Bernard Madoff, Goldman Sachs, Toyota, BP et al) when investing your life savings or just buying a car or assuming that large corporations won't ruin the environment.

In this atmosphere what can one do to retain some belief in the world around us? Probably the best solution is to get immersed in make believe (commercials, reality shows, Sarah Palin). They're just as believable as anything else and perhaps a little more amusing.

And then--if all else fails, you can believe in TNB. Never lied to you!

Reality Check

A reality check usually describes an occasion or event in which one is reminded of the state of things in the real world as contrasted to what exists in one's mind (often purposely or sincerely confused). TNB hereby offers to become head of the "reality check" police, or sort of a reality nanny. If such a position were in operation, there would be prompt daily accountability for all instances in which reality has been suspended. Some examples of the need for immediate reality checks follow:

• The apprehension of the alleged Times Square bomber turned up a naturalized American citizen who recently visited his Pakistani homeland and spent 5 months at a Taliban camp. Since he already had an MBA in the U.S. it is doubtful that he was there for additional finance classes. Despite all the apparent hard evidence against him (and his confession), a relative back home was quoted as claiming the arrest was part of an American "conspiracy" to justify bombings of the Taliban strongholds. It's obviously time for a major reality check. We know what you're up to over there and all the BS you can spew can't obliterate the facts.
• A University of Virginia lacrosse player was arrested for killing his 22 year old ex-girlfriend (a star of the women's lacrosse team ) by continually shaking her and pounding her head against the wall until she was dead (after breaking down her apartment door). In an egregious example of the need for a reality check (or at least a closed mouth) his attorney stated that this was just a "tragic accident". Really? Everyone's entitled to adequate representation, but must that consist of farfetched scenarios? Save it for the courtroom!
• In Chicago recently, 2 young women were viciously attacked with a baseball bat and robbed (one is still critical). A man and woman were arrested after brilliantly using the victims' credit and ATM cards. The alleged bat wielder has been denied bond while his female accomplice (who drove the car and rifled the 2 purses) is sitting in jail on $1,000,000 bond. The father of this 25 year old miscreant gave an interview in which he stated that she shouldn't be incarcerated because she didn't take her meds that day (?) and she is the mother of 2 small children, the father of whom is not the alleged perpetrator with whom she was out drinking until 3 AM. Here's the reality check, mister-- your daughter's a piece of garbage and can we please stop blaming "not taking meds" for every bad thing that happens. Do we need a law that requires everyone to take their meds (how could we monitor)?

Reality is not always pleasant--a lot easier to wallow in fantasy.

Mea Culpa

Mea Culpa of course is Latin for "my fault". Today's popular usage is the ubiquitous "my bad". It's very interesting that many recent declarations by individuals sort of explaining their role(s) in the financial crisis really weren't what many wanted--full mea culpas but instead were rather lame statements such as "I'm sorry" or "I regret" (just short of "tough luck"). This is naturally symptomatic of society as a whole--half-hearted apologies but no taking of responsiblity, which of course could lead to lawsuits or other nasty results, including loss of reputation (if any remains).

To TNB, the most fascinating example is one-time revered icon of all economic gurus--Alan Greenspan, former Federal Reserve chairman, who in his heyday was held in unquestioned high esteem by one and all. During recent Congressional testimony, Greenspan stated that he had been right 70% of the time and wrong 30% (which is about 29.99% higher than he previously admitted). Not exactly a mea culpa but a grudging concession that he might possibly be mortal.

Also Robert Rubin , former Treasury Secretary and Citigroup chairman muttered a few "I regrets" before the same Congressional committee but insisted that he was basically blameless for any ultimately failed economic policies or the tribulations of Citigroup which required life support from the Federal government. Rubin needed no such aid having been paid $126 million by that bank for his wise advice. Why admit you're at least partially responsible for Wall Street's problems--someone (gasp!) might suggest that you repay something?

Actually, it's quite fashionable today to blame the victim for anything you may have done--perhaps it is is everyone but these former Masters of the Universe (thanks to Tom Wolfe) who should be expressing their mea culpas.

Someone Must Care

In today's Too Much Information age (see blog posting of April 14, 2009) TNB often wonders just who cares about the relentless amount of needless tidings which we are bombarded with daily in every sort of media, whether newspapers, television and radio, the Internet (including the ultimate trivia explosion--forwarded E-Mails) and so on.

Obviously, the purveyors of all the many examples of TMI care and believe others do--someone must care, right? It apparently really matters to some people that:

• Barack Obama marked down "African-American" on his census form. Although it is arguable that releasing this information was unnecessary, sure enough, there was consternation that he didn't check the "multiracial" box. If you really care about this, TNB says "get a life" (in any hue).
• Jesse James (who TNB remembers from long-ago Wild West movies--or is this a different guy?) admittedly cheated on his wife, brand-new Oscar winner Sandra Bullock, with some heavily tattooed bimbo --thus rising from obscurity to become the bigger story, especially for those whose lives are so empty that they care about this.
• Tiger Woods, who was considered the ultimate athletic role model until last Thanksgiving when he overdosed on cranberry sauce and wrecked his car (and his image), managed on the eve of his golf return at the Masters to give the breathless public a little window into his self inflicted anguish. Please tell TNB that most of those who care about this story do so because of a fanatic devotion to his sport (golf, that is).

Perhaps what these and countless other examples signify is that we all need a form of release from all the frightening real-life things we should care about, such as the size of the Federal and State deficits, Ahmed Karzai threatening to join the Taliban, the ever increasing earthquake activity, and scariest of all, the Chicago Cubs losing their opener 16-5.