Catching Up

After being away from blogging for three weeks (mostly spent in Europe) TNB has had a hard time catching up with all the recent news, but does have a few profound observations.

Should John McCain win the presidency (a distinct possibility) he can thank among other factors, Georgia. No, not the reliable red state (pun intended) he would carry under any circumstances but rather the heretofore obscure former Soviet republic embroiled in yet another ethnic dispute with the big bad bear (pun intended) Russia. Every time some new world crisis flares up, McCain gets votes. No different than 2004 when the GOP successfully played the terror fear card to narrowly reelect W. Hasn't that been great for the country? TNB recently visited Russia briefly and got an education in attitudes of ordinary Russians--scary.

Barack Obama's efforts to look strong have consisted of picking an attack dog (albeit qualified) as his running mate. Most of you probably haven't noticed but Obama recently was interviewed on ESPN and asked (since of course he's a Chicagoan) who he would support if somehow both the Cubs and White Sox made the World Series (this happens once a century). As a South Sider, like Mayor Daley, he understandably prefers the White Sox. But, he then went on to diss Cubs fans (doesn't he know they're all over the country?) as beer drinking tourists who know nothing about baseball!!! I assume he wasn't referring to TNB, whose baseball knowledge can probably be matched against most anyone. Can't you just see Obama, a few weeks before the election, making a surprise appearance at Wrigley Field wearing a Cubs hat (this should only happen) should they be playing say Tampa Bay from an important state like Florida? Why is it that the Democrats continually pick wussy candidates-- see Stevenson, McGovern, Dukakis, Kerry et al?

This reminds TNB of 2000, when carpetbagger Hillary Clinton, attempting to secure a Senate seat in her "adopted" state of New York, wore a Yankees cap proclaiming she was a lifelong fan when she had grown up in suburban Chicago and was really a fan of (gasp!) the Cubs. All this proves is how craven politicians can be. Hillary does look a lot tougher than Barack, but her supporters should get real-- if many do vote for McCain, do they realize what they're getting? Actually, someone who in a few days, will be the same age as TNB, but without the Internet skills.

What Happens Next

Since TNB and Mrs. TNB will be leaving shortly for a few weeks on a European trip, how will all (?) of you devoted readers get your enlightened comments on current events? Not to worry, because TNB will tell you in advance what will happen next. And unlike weather forecasters, sports prognosticators and the like, upon returning he will review his predictions and admit if any don't pan out.

• Politics-- Both Barack Obama and John McCain will announce their vice presidential nominees. The media will have a field day delving into every aspect of the two individuals' backgrounds, including interviews with childhood friends from 30 to 50 years ago, who will tell all about the candidate's first kiss, drug experimentation (if any), school behavior including copying on exams and other relevant matters which will greatly help the electorate in determining ultimate fitness for high office.
• Olympics-- After thousands of arrests of dissidents, interference with journalists access to the Internet and killer (literally) pollution affecting athletes and spectators, China will announce that the Games were the most successful in history, thus justifying the selection of their country as a worthy member of the civilized world. There will be no doping scandals, because no tests will work in the Chinese smog.
• Other Sports-- At least 3 NFL stars will sustain serious injury in meaningless exhibition games. Tiger Woods will get special dispensation to ride a cart so that he can win the PGA tournament (and help TV ratings). Two 20 year old female tennis stars will announce their retirement, citing burnout from playing or practicing every day since the age of 8. A dozen or more college football players will be arrested, although most will still play this season.
• Celebrities-- Not fewer than five breakups will be announced. Most will not result in divorces, since few of these people are actually married to their partners, although there are often children involved. The pending Hollywood actors' strike will be averted by the threat to use replacements who are out of work politicians, particularly those who did not make the vice presidential cut (see above).

Now you don't have to bother with the actual news, but can spend more time enjoying the summer, or perhaps writing your own blog.