After the incredible year we've all experienced in 2008, it's not surprising that most everyone is looking towards 2009 with apprehension. But not TNB. He will tell you what 2009 will bring--and just possibly at least one prediction will prove correct (a lucky guess, no doubt). So here goes:
1. After a few months of dealing with the Israeli/Palestinian confict, unemployment, the disastrous housing market and Vladimir Putin, Barack Obama will rescind his no smoking pledge and pose shirtless for a Marlboro Light ad.
2. Clarence Thomas will resign from the Supreme Court, thus allowing Barack Obama to pick a liberal African-American from Illinois for that seat. His choice will be either Senator-to-be Roland Burris or former Chicago attorney Michelle Obama.
3. Kate Winslet, after receiving her 6th Oscar nomination (for Revolutionary Road) will finally be named Best Actress and will stun the live (and TV) audience by doing what she has done in many of her films--take off her clothes.
4. While his wife is in Pakistan negotiating with Osama Bin Laden for his surrender (and a book deal) Bill Clinton will be caught on a date with Sarah Palin, the world's coolest grandmother.
5. Sarah's daughter Bristol will turn down the $300,000 she's been offered for pictures of her adorable love child and hire agent Ari Gold from Entourage to represent her. The negotiations will have to wait until Jeremy Piven, who portrays Ari, is released from sushi rehab.
6. Oprah Winfrey will announce the immediate end of her talk show, stating that she's been duped by a lying author one too many times to maintain her self respect. No, Bernard Madoff did not write a book--that was his wife Ruth. Although she's an African-American from Illinois, Oprah will not be considered for the aforementiond Supreme Court vacancy.
7. Rod Blagojevich will surprise everyone by taking off his toupee at his trial, thus throwing the jury into a frenzy.
8. The Chicago Cubs will win the World Series, thus shocking their new owners--the US Treasury.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
What a pathetic hypocrite Bobby Rush is. The man supported Blair Hull against Barack in '04 and now, all of a sudden, he thinks it is paramount for an African American to be in the Senate.
As for Burris, he is a nice man and an uninspiring politician. He must need a job!
Post a Comment