Have You Heard

There's so much news these days, international, national, local, sports, business and entertainment--that it's totally impossible for people to keep up. So as a public service to those of you who have information gaps, TNB hereby presents Have You Heard. For example, have you heard that:

• Sarah Palin has "authored" a controversial new book in which she reveals that she is quietly pursuing an advanced English literature degree at an Ivy League university
• Pope Benedict who recently opened the door for condom use by male prostitutes to combat AIDS has been approached to endorse Trojans (no, not the horses)
• Mel Gibson whose Hollywood career is in limbo and who is involved in a vicious custody suit, is undergoing instructions on conversion to Orthodox Judaism, with the only issue being whether he can get by with just a "ritual nick"
• Meg Whitman, founder of E-Bay, has formed a new company, E-Ocean, to commemorate the destination of the $140 million she spent on a futile effort to become governor of California (why would she want to be?)
• Christine O'Donnell, defeated Delaware senatorial candidate, has recently signed to portray the Wicked Witch of the West in the remake of The Wizard of Oz
• Brett Favre, washed up quarterback whose poor play helped get his coach fired, has decided to capitalize on his recent sexual harrassment scandal by coming out with a new line of men's undershorts complete with a hidden camera for emergencies

If you pass around this info at the Thanksgiving table, please no attribution. TNB meanwhile is facing his first date with the airport body scanners who hopefully won't laugh too loudly.