Just Wonderin'

TNB is resuming his blog a few days earlier than announced (hey, campaigns are sometimes resumed before financial crises are solved) partially to add a few more sins for which to atone.

Probably you haven't been so perplexed, but lately TNB has been just wonderin' (not a typo--wondering is no longer an acceptable spellin' or pronounciation) about the followin':

• Maybe the Cubs tanked to allow TNB to devote his energies to seein' that Josephine Sixpack is promptly returned to the Arctic--permanently.
• Maybe the slogan "Wait Til Next Year" could be banned. Repeat ten times--"Next Year Will Never Come". You'll feel better.
• Maybe Lou Piniella was right when he allegedly told two of his overpriced "stars" (Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez) that they lacked "cojones".
• Maybe the best pair of cojones currently on display belongs to Ms. Trailer Park Trash who recently riled up a redneck Florida crowd against Obama to the extent that one man in the crowd yelled out "kill him" and others hassled an African-American TV crew member (whose sin was obviously his color). These are Wasilla middle class values? She's fit to be Vice President??
• Maybe the World's Greatest Hockey Mom needs to visit an eye doctor to check on that annoyin' winkin'. BTW --just wonderin' about all the other Moms (soccer, ballet, orchestra), some of whom might be actually doin' this work daily. Sister Sarah's oldest hasn't needed a driver for several years, her #2 is likely not playin' hockey these days while registerin' for her weddin' and so on. Just who is she drivin' to hockey practice (if anyone is behind the wheel, it's her dude or maybe now the Secret Service)? It's time to retire the slogan which is just so much BS, like everything else about her.
• Maybe at the next debate, John McCain will mention her instead of (about 4 times) his house Jew, Joe Lieberman. While Joe's in Temple (he needs some serious atonement) what will the Last Angry Man do for advice? Certainly he won't ask The Least Angry Man whom he condescendingly referred to as "that one" during last night's "debate". Poor John--having to share the limelight with someone "not like us" (not difficult to excite certain elements of the electorate, is it?). And if he says "my friends" one more time? OMG.
• Maybe George W. after hearin' the GOP ticket bash him relentlessly, will endorse "That One". That would probably be the Kiss of Death (see above) and just the type of October surprise that the Democrats fear.

Obviously, our ancestors were wise in their knowledge that sins would always be available for atonement.

Atonement

The Normal Blogger hereby announces that he is suspending his blog--no, not until the bailout (is that the same as out on bail?) is finalized, but until the Jewish High Holidays end on October 9. This way, TNB can concentrate on 2 critical matters--(1) the Cubs first round NL playoff series and (2) far more importantly so that he can properly use the Days of Awe to atone (as all Jews must do on Yom Kippur) for his many sins of commission and omission, perpetrated both on his blog and in everyday thoughts. Such atonement is especially relevant considering all of the following who TNB has wronged:

• Sarah Palin TNB has implied or expressly stated that The Immaterial Girl is stupid. Actually, he needs to apologize to stupid people for putting her up in their category. She deserves one of her own (Putin is going to fly over Alaska's airspace?). Perhaps she'll quit before the VP debate and return to Wasilla to prepare to be a mother-in-law and grandmother, not necessarily in that order (more atonement needed from TNB).
• John McCain TNB needs to atone for even thinking that parachuting into the "financial rescue" negotiations was another cheap political stunt (see: Sarah Palin) that was doomed to backfire since all he was able to accomplish was to stir up House Republicans. What a leader! And what's with the condescending sneer and refusal to address Obama by his first name (Barack and Track are pretty close) or even look at him during the debate? Mean Johnny M. is giving us 72 year olds a bad name (oops--more atonement needed).
• George Bush After all the (deserved) criticism leveled at W. by TNB and a multitude of others, it's actually pathetic to see that Democrats, whom he always treated with contempt, may be the saviors of his bailout plan. You have to feel sorry for him (but TNB really doesn't). He just wants to go home to Crawford and he still has to try to pretend that he knows what's up (OK--yet more atonement).
• Naomi Ragen The vicious far right Israeli author announced to her large E-Mail audience this week that American Jews who vote for Obama will be responsible when Israel is nuked off the map, presumably by Iran for which of course Barack is some secret agent. She didn't exactly say that, but she sure has come close and needs more atonement than even TNB!

Maybe TNB should just concentrate on the Cubs. Amazingly, they're less stressful than the political campaign.

The Internet and Elections

Although not a new phenomenon, the Internet is proving to be a major factor in this year's Presidential elections. The explosion of E-Mails (many negative and vicious) is probably a result of both the rise of blogging and the polarization of the electorate. When have there ever been two more polarizing candidates than Barack Obama and SnowJobSquareGlasses? Of course, they're not even running against each other directly but that hasn't reduced the venom. Actually, the volume and intensity of E-Mails has produced both good and bad effects.

GOOD Heretofore highly respected, well known individuals have been exposed for their extreme views (no secrets or privacy on the Internet even including The Normal Blog). For example, Jackie Mason, sort of an icon among many older Jews for his benign social comments (where Jews will sit in restaurants), has a YouTube video full of disgusting anti-Obama lies and smears. Tell your friends. Send this ordained Rabbi (shameful) into oblivion.

Even worse, well known far right American/Israeli author Naomi Ragen produces a blog (www.naomiragen.blogspot.com) containing incredible trash talk depicting Obama as about the next worst person on earth to Bin Laden (he actually knows Mayor Daley's brother Bill, former Commerce Secretary!!!)and of course portraying Palin as about the most admirable woman since Esther (this from a highly educated woman--scary). Naomi doesn't brook dissent--she refused to post 2 of TNB's comments and severely criticized a negative comment she received by E-Mail as a threat and intimidation. This isn't a threat--just a suggestion that everyone stop buying her books.

BAD For the first time in TNB's memory, long standing friendships have been strained due in no small part to the compulsion to send extremely annoying (often totally false) E-Mails to your friends who you know damn well aren't going to change their positions. Why tweak somebody with an obviously doctored, totally irrelevant video purporting to show a small Israeli flag on Sarah Palin's desk (of course, in contrast to that "Muslim" whose ancestry, genealogy, etc. has
been "proven" by other E-Mails). Many people, including TNB, have called a truce until November 4. Hopefully, the relationships will survive, as well as the country, although the tone of many E-Mails suggests differently.

Is It Possible?

Is it really possible that:

• Both presidential candidates are running against the Republican party? If you didn't know better (some of our electorate probably doesn't) you would think the McCain/Mooseburger ticket is somehow afraid to mention that the country has been brought to its knees and Washington is so sorely in need of reform under the stewardship not of their opponents but of their own fallen hero--George W. (remember him?). Maybe at the upcoming debates someone will ask them about this strange phenomenon.
• John McCain is figuratively and literally hiding behind Sarah Palin's skirts? On the rare occasions he appears in public without her, few bother to show up. Why should they --to listen to someone who has to read "Good Morning" off a cue card? When she's there she immediately lifts the campaign discourse by emphasizing how she'll be hittin(g), fixin(g), winnin(g) against those baddies in DC, and every moron in America identifies with her. Keep repeatin(g) President Sarah Palin, President Sarah Palin--OMG.
• We'll get to November 4th without any hard nosed journalist gettin(g) (OOPS) to question Sarah? First there was mild mannered professor Charlie Gibson, next is Fox News right wing suck up and sycophant Sean Hannity and then Miss Perky--Katie Couric. NBC is being punished for daring to criticize the odd couple. So those evil men like Brian Williams and Tom Brokaw, who might throw more than softballs, will probably not get the chance to ask her how she would solve the crisis in the financial markets (by fixin it!), deal with the new leaders in Pakistan, Israel and the Vatican (just kiddin) or make sure Russia doesn't invade Wasilla. (Putin is watching her house from Siberia). Wouldn't you rather have Tina Fey?
• After a literal lifetime of sufferin(g), TNB's beloved Chicago Cubs (he backs a lot of losers) wins the World Series only a few days before Barack Obama puts the GOP out of its misery? If this happens, watch out for a coup orchestrated by Dick Cheney. Yes, it could be the best of times or... what was it that Dickens said?

Anything is possible, isn't it?

Sex, Lies and Hypocrisy

With eight weeks to go in what no doubt will be the most vitrioloic presidential campaign in history, already we're wallowing in SEX, LIES and HYPOCRISY. For example:

The SEX angle has been a tabloid boon, thanks to Bristol Palin and her "fiancee" Levi Johnston, whose MySpace page, subsequently removed, was replete with macho posturing, extensive use of the "F" word and concluded (honestly) with "I don't want kids" (condoms are apparently outlawed in Alaska). The lovely couple are giving new meaning to the term "shotgun wedding" since Levi proposed looking down the barrel of Sarah's hunting rifle.

The LIES can only be highlighted:

• Obama is a Muslim (terrorist or dupe, etc.) who has outdone country club Republicans in elitism and arrogance. Sure!
• The media (100% liberal, of course, including Fox News) is mean and nasty to Sarah Palin because they want to ask Mommy Dearest about such unfair matters as her views on say, immigration, the Middle East, Russia, the mortgage/housing crisis, the Supreme Court, taxes, etc. which all the other candidates in both parties have been answering and debating for almost 2 years. They should back off from this inquisition because even by the mediocre standards most Americans hold their Presidents to (see George W. Bush, Phantom not of the Opera but the GOP convention) she would be found to be sadly deficient. Yes, she's feisty, has pizazz and is about 2 inches deep. Memo to disaffected Hillary women--this lady and McCain will make your head spin with their anti-choice, anti gay rights and other right wing proposals. If they're elected, hope for a very Democratic Congress.
• Sarah's Jewish ancestors swam the Bering Strait from Russia to Alaska 100 years ago to escape pogroms. OK--TNB made this up but watch for something like it to appear in some Republican BS (I mean spin).

As to the HYPOCRISY, where to begin? But we must:

• How about Joe Lieberman, badly needing Obama's help in Connecticut in 2006, warmly praising Barack and promising to do anything he can to help the Illinois Senator in the future. Really?
• How about anti Equal Rights Amendment leaders James Dobson and Phyllis Schlafly, among others, who have made careers out of promoting stay at home, subservient mothers, now praising Sarah Palin for her great multitasking ability? Remember the Army/McCarthy hearings--"have you no shame, sir"? OMG.
• How about Sarah Palin herself--great proponent of abstinence only sex "education" for everyone but her own family? After all, who is a better example of HYPOCRISY which is defined in the New Oxford American Dictionary as "the practice of claiming to have moral standards or beliefs to which one's own behavior does not conform"? These people are champs!!!

Gustav and Sarah

Leave it to a male (OK, only a male named hurricane, Gustav) to possibly deter the American people from getting a complete look at the heartwarming story of Sarah Palin.

But since the Republican National Convention has had to somewhat curtail its agenda, TNB is filling in the blanks, in case you've been concentrating on Labor Day or other distractions.

In only four short days since John McCain, in one of the all-time most cynical, pandering and insulting moves ever made by a presidential candidate, named the previously obscure Alaska governor to be his running mate (is that still a good word?), here's what we know:

• Although gynecologically identical to Hillary Clinton, she certainly is not in the least her ideological twin (thanks to Jon Stewart). Her shameless reach for Hillary supporters is frightening but could sadly be somewhat effective. Especially when a few weeks ago, a misguided Hillary delegate made a TV commercial endorsing McCain only to find out later that contrary to what she thought he was not pro choice! You can't overestimate the stupidity of the American people.
• Her many right wing defenders are stretching her credentials to the breaking point. Fox News (honestly) trumpeted her international bona fides by pointing out that Alaska is only a few miles from Russia across the Bering Strait. Watch out, Mr. Putin --she's got her eyes trained on you!
• The family values people don't appear to be upset by the revelation that her teenage, unmarried daughter is pregnant-- "we're all sinners, etc." Imagine if Obama's daughter, if she were older, was pregnant--the racist clucking would be deafening.
• At an interview only a month ago, she seemed uncertain as to what the job of Vice President entailed. For sure, she could continue to hunt--as long as caribou, not friends were shot.
• Finally, she's somewhat of a babe (runner up as Miss Alaska in 1984). This should appeal to the heretofore untapped horny male segment of the electorate.

In fairness to John McCain, he couldn't emulate Obama and pick one of his defeated rivals, who ordinarily would have some stature--Mitt Romney, who reminds one of a slick, Don Draper ("Mad Men") but not as smart, Mike Huckabee, who is quite conservative but lacks Sarah's internal plumbing, Rudy Giuliani who set new records for running a poor campaign and has plenty of personal baggage et al. No wonder McCain was selected by his party.

See the last sentence of first bullet point above. TNB is worried.