It's Already the Second Quarter

Due to a "groundswell" (OK 3 or 4 people) requesting that The Normal Blog return from its self-imposed winter hiatus, following is a recap of what you might have missed during the first quarter of 2013, assuming that your attention span was also on pause:

• President Obama was inaugurated for a second term, accompanied by raucous cheers from formerly hostile Republicans who proceeded to cave in to all of his demands, including comprehensive new gun control legislation.
• Pope Benedict XVI resigned (not to spend more time with his family) thus paving the way for a new pope who was ushered into office singing Don't Cry for me Argentina.
• After not visiting there during his first term, President Obama finally made it to Israel where he so charmed the locals that the Chief Rabbi offered to convert him to Judaism without him having to undergo a brit --well, maybe just a little nick.
• In the worst case of fraternal enmity since Cain and Abel, the Harbaugh brothers squared off in the Super Bowl--after which their  horrified parents disclosed that  both boys had been  adopted from an orphanage in Yugoslavia.
• Although not deemed  humanly possible, Donald Trump made an even bigger fool of himself by filing suit (later withdrawn) against comedian Bill Maher who insinuated that at least one of Trump's parents was an orangutan (it turned out that both his mother and father had starred in Planet of the Apes).
• A woman being taken to prison was found to have a loaded pistol in her vagina--which is obviously better than hiding a nail file for future escape possibilities.

Indicating once more that nothing is weirder than the truth, TNB is sorry to inform you (if you didn't know) that only the last bullet point above is 100% true. The others, of course, do contain some half truths (or maybe a little more).

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A sad farewell to Hugo Melvoin, wonderful blogger, passionate fly fisherman and incredible shofar blower. A life well lived.