Leap Day

Today, February 29 is of course a very significant day in our calendar, occurring only once every 4th year (exept for turn of the century years). While this "extra day" has some astronomical or perhaps astrological meaning, there are many more personal reasons to celebrate Leap Day.

For example, there used to be a "tradition"of sorts where for one day it was acceptable for women to ask men to get married (remember Sadie Hawkins from L'il Abner?). This appears laughable today where few get married anyway (even expectant parents) and even fewer men get on bended knee to ask for a lady's hand. Not much call for turnabout one day per year.

But for TNB, the best thing about Leap Day is that it always signifies that we're in the middle of a presidential campaign where quality candidates sparkle with ideas and make the average citizen proud of being an American.

Wait a minute--this is hardly happening this Leap Year as far as the contending GOP candidates are concerned. Just in the past week, we've seen Rick Sanctimonius (I mean Santorum) tell a bunch of Tea Party blue collar types that President Obama is an elite snob who wants to force everyone to (gasp!) get a college education so that liberal professors can remake every voter's child in Obama's image. This seems to be a stretch on several fronts, as you can imagine.

Then Mitt Romney tried to connect with ordinary people by disclosing that his wife drove 2 Cadillacs and also that while knowing (or caring) little about Nascar, he was a friend of some team owners. You thought maybe the drivers?

And on and on. It's getting so discouraging that TNB is longing for the next three years, when there's no Leap Day and no presidential race. Truth be told--TNB is quite happy to be an elite snob.

The Secret Agenda

So now that it's February, it appears that the Republican flavor-of-the-month appears to be, of all people Rick Santorum. This surprising turn of events of course evidences the profound dislike many Republicans feel toward the vapid Mitt Romney, probably the least exciting presidential candidate since Al Gore. In case you hadn't heard, Santorum has unwittingly given his name to the latest urban slang word, which delicately can be defined as relating to certain byproducts of anal sex. Since the former Pennsylvania Senator is well known for his homophobia, it was only "natural" that some people (certainly not TNB) thought this might provide an obscene but accurate depiction of him.

Of much more significance to the campaign, Santorum has claimed that if (the Lord be cursed!) President Obama is reelected to a second term, he will finally roll out the "secret agenda" he was been saving for the time that he no longer will need to worry about running for office. Of course, since Santorum is not allowed (!) to reveal the secret, it is up to TNB to relate just what Sen. Rick fears so much, which no doubt will also frighten you.

• All religions except Islam will be abolished


• Kenya will become the 51st state


• The U.S. Capital will move to Chicago (why not--it's more centrally located)


• All Republicans will be forced to practice contraception

Actually, the last point, if heeded, might result in fewer Rick Santorums being produced.

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Personal Note-- TNB bids a sad farewell to Lynda Kramer, who with her husband Marshall, intoduced TNB and Mrs. TNB some 53 years ago. Lynda passed away in Florida recently at the young age of 73. Lynda was one of the most devoted readers of The Normal Blog and actually agreed with TNB 98% of the time. Here's a hope that, wherever she is, Lynda is continuing to enjoy all the blogs and books that she so voraciously read.

Content is Always Free

Today, several of the major free Internet information sites such as Wikipedia temporarily shut down their websites to protest two anti-piracy bills pending in Congress. The piracy at issue is not occurring off the coast of Somalia but rather refers to the constant free accessing of written, filmed and recorded content by just about anyone with a computer, tablet or smartphone. Since this practice (sometimes known as piracy) obviously deprives the content creators of royalties or other payments it is easy to understand why there is a huge controversy. On one side are Facebook, Twitter and the like, claiming of course "free speech" while the legislation is favored by movie and TV studios, publishers of books, magazines and newspapers, record companies, etc. Some newspapers already charge for accessing their online sites-- everything has a price!

No need for you to fear this legislation. If the unthinkable happens and you no longer can get free information on the Internet, you can always depend on The Normal Blog, where content is always free (perhaps because that's all it's worth). Never mind that blog posts appear only sporadically, totally at the whim of the (unpaid) creator. Should the world really need him, TNB might be persuaded to give up everything else to perform a public service by providing pithy descriptions of current events, albeit sometimes tinged with satire.

You might learn, at no cost, for example that the captain of the shipwrecked Italian cruise ship is being not so lovingly described as Pollo di Mer or Chicken of the Sea [this was lifted from the New York Post]. Most would agree that this is adequate reporting on this unfortunate accident.

Or what about the upcoming South Carolina Republican primary? Too bad comedian Stephen Colbert can't get even write-in votes which means that one of the five remaining morons will have to win. OMG. BTW, if you've noticed, Colbert and his buddy Jon Stewart have totally exposed what a fraud super PAC's are. That's enough free info on this matter.

Need to find out about sports? Tonight's NBA scores are 96-89, 101-76, 88-87. The names of the teams might cost you but admit it--we've all been spoiled by the free flow of information, some of which justifiably might cost something in the future. If that thought depresses you, remember where content is always free.

Was 2011 Really Worse

In a posting on January 4, 2011 entitled "Can 2011 Be Worse" TNB lamented how terrible a year 2010 had been and predicted (somewhat tongue-in-cheek) what might happen in 2011, which of course couldn't possibly be worse than 2010, or could it?

Unlike many other prognosticators who never revisit their predictions TNB is going to "man up" (don't you love those ads?) and expose those forecasts one year later.

• Republicans will fail to repeal the Obama health care bill. This was accurate but TMB failed to foresee just how obstructionist the GOP could be, almost totally paralyzing the country on several occasions all with one goal in mind--defeat the President for reelection and to hell with everything else. How delicious would it be if this didn't happen in 2012? Too close to call.


• Clarence Thomas will resign from the Supreme Court. Sadly, this didn't occur but hope springs eternal.


• Rahm Emanuel will be elected Chicago mayor. This was sort of a no-brainer but once Rahm moved into his own house (reclaiming it from his tenant) he also scrapped his plans (?) to move City Hall to Manny's Deli. But he's off to a great start and watch out for him on the 2016 presidential ticket.


• Christine O'Donnell (remember her?) will pay off her campaign debt by autographing Halloween witch hats. Does anybody know if this happened? Delaware is pretty obscure (sorry, VP Biden).


• Colin Firth will stammer through his Oscar acceptance for The King's Speech. He of course did win and spoke perfectly--Brits always do.


• Brett Favre will finally retire from the NFL (he did) and will become a spokesperson for feminine hygiene products (you didn't actually believe this).


• The Chicago Cubs will finish 6th. They tried but "thanks" to the Houston Astros were 5th again. However brighter days appear ahead with the new management team headed by Theo Epstein. No more predictions--don't want to put a curse on them.

All in all, not a bad record. But TNB did fail to predict the tsunami in Japan, NY representative Anthony Weiner showing his on You Tube (that's what it means?), the deaths of Osama Bin Laden and Muammar Gaddafi, the rise (and fall) of Herman Cain and worst of all, the very recent passing of North Korea's "Dear Leader" who among other feats reported to his people, bowled a 300 game on his first try, made 11 holes in one on his first round of golf and dunked a basketball while blindfolded and chained (OK, TNB made up the last one).

You be the judge if 2011 was really worse. TNB predicts that 2012 will be better--why not?

Those Commie Muppets

At least once every day TNB is thankful for Fox News, protector of the Real America. Just this week the Fox Business Channel disclosed that Disney's new Muppets movie is nothing but a liberal commie plot to subvert the innocent minds of the unsuspecting kids who will watch it since they're too naive to realize that it contains an insidious anticapitalist message. Huh? It seems that the movie's villain who wants to take away the Muppets somewhat neglected property is an oilman who of course wants to (gasp) drill, baby, drill. Thus this so-called children's "entertainment"portrays an obvious job creator in a somewhat negative light. Must be a left wing conspiracy designed to poison those impressionable minds. Good to know that Fox is alert and on the job 24/7.

Actually Fox News should really be occupied with a far more important matter--how to get the country to elect Newt Gingrich president. Now that the GOP conservative base has lost Herman Cain (to the chagrin of comedians everywhere) it appears that the current flavor du jour is the former House speaker who has more baggage than a Samsonite store. Mainstream Republicans like Karl Rove abhor Gingrich knowing that he is likely to self-destruct sooner or later (didn't he just call for poor 10 year olds to do janitorial work?). Despite his lack of principles, spine, etc. Mitt Romney (ugh) might be the last person standing forcing GOP voters to hold their noses while voting for him, if they care to.

But wait--look who might be re-emerging. None other than the Donald, as in Donald Trump who announced that if the eventual nominee isn't satisfactory to him, he'll just take his ball and go home--sorry, he'll run as an independent. That would be great for President Obama since otherwise GOP votes would be siphoned off--sort of like what Ralph Nader did to Al Gore in 2000. It would also be great for comedians--easily compensation for the departure of Cain.

Yes, Fox News--this is where you should be concentrating and leave TNB's grandchildren to enjoy their popcorn and movies in peace.

11/11/11

Many years ago, when TNB's late mother was about to deliver, she unfortunately didn't hurry up by about a half hour so that instead of being born on the mundane date of 11/12, he could have been celebrating a birthday on 11/11/11. Those of you old enough to remember when Veterans Day was Armistice Day, commemorating the end of World War I, will recall that the exact time the armistice was signed (11:11 AM) gave further significance to the numerology of the date.

Of course 11/11/11 is so intriguing a date that huge numbers of couples are apparently rushing to get married today (the mere fact of marriage is especially significant considering our present society). For many of these couples 11/11/11 conveys something spiritual. However considering certain recent events TNB (ever the cynic) is having difficuty channeling this.

There obviously wasn't much spirituality (or morality) exhibited at Penn State where the disgusting child sex abuse scandal (and more disgusting aftermath) just exploded. The "legendary" coach Joe Paterno, whose pedestal certainly cracked, and all the school administrators who like those from the Catholic Church and others were only interested in protecting the institution first (and the perp second) and never mind the innocent victims, have had a swift and deserved fall from grace. Very telling was that 4 of the 9 members of Penn State's Board of Trustees who fired JoePa the other night formerly played for him.

But what rankled TNB the most was the reaction of many in Penn State's student body who rioted to protest the dismissal. Wouldn't you love to pay say $40,000 per year to send your child to college only to have he or she behave like that? Worse yet, no one protested the concurrent ouster of the university president. Why should they--the head football coach usually earns far more and when you think about it, they're both primarily fund raisers--bringing in all that cash so that tuition can be kept "low"!

Another example of what makes America so great and why other countries are surpassing us in so many ways--our values are all screwed up. Sorry to ruin the spirituality of 11/11/11.

The Eight Little Dwarfs

TNB was amazed at how small all the leading Republicans (the Presidential candidates, Senators like McCain and Graham, Eric Cantor, etc.) appeared when the announcements were made on successive days last week of the death of Muammar Ghaddafy and the upcoming final withdrawal of troops from Iraq . Just like when Osama Bin Laden was tracked down and killed, with of course 100% of the credit going to George W. Bush, this time it was either the British and French who alone brought down the Libyan colonel or Obama's exit strategy from Iraq that was a total failure (wasn't it Bush who agreed in December 2008 to bring the troops home by this December?). And by the way, Rick Perry has "revived" the birther issue only to be severely publicly reprimanded by, of all people, fellow Texan Karl Rove.

If the President announced that cancer had been eradicated, he would get no credit from any of these little people --who all resemble mental midgets. Too bad there are still 8 presidential candidates--the group would be perfect for the remake of the 1937 Disney classic Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs. Wait a minute --why not eliminate Jon Huntsman who is going nowhere, doubtlessly because he seems to be both reasonable and (gasp) qualified. So this leaves us with this Oscar worthy cast:

Bashful A perfect role for Mitt Romney who is perpetually shy about sticking to one opinion.
Doc Strangely, Ron Paul does have a medical license.
Dopey A natural for Michele Bachmann.
Grumpy The character was obviously written with Newt Gingrich in mind.
Happy Herman Cain is positively ecstatic at the P.R his ludicrous campaign has created.
Sleepy Is there a better antidote for insomnia than Rick Santorum?
Sneezy There must be some Texas sized allergies that have so clouded Rick Perry's "brain".

You're wondering about Snow White? Who better to portray the innocent virgin than Sarah Palin (or maybe Bristol).

Now you know why Chris Christie loomed so large, in more ways than one.