What a Year It Has Been

It seems like every December, stories abound recapping all the events, large and small, that have defined the year then coming to a close. We'd all have to agree that 2009 has been quite a year, although most of TNB's predictions (see December 31, 2008 post) unfortunately didn't pan out, not surprising when you consider they were made tongue in cheek. A prediction that Oprah would announce the end of her talk show came true except that she didn't state that the main reason was that she was fed up with lying authors. Also, we're not quite sure if the prediction that Barack Obama would resume smoking (assuming he really had quit) came true or not. But who cares? Look at the unpredictable (and unpredicted) things that did happen such as:

• The Octomom giving birth to 8 babies apparently artificially conceived. Can cloning of humans be far behind?
• Susan Boyle, obscure British plain Jane, becoming a singing sensation.
• Gov. Mark Sanford of South Carolina taking a hike up the Appalachian Trail and winding up in Argentina. (Wife Jenny just told him, through her divorce lawyers, to take a hike).
• Bernie Madoff winding up in a Federal prison in North Carolina with a 150 year sentence or about 3 years for each BILLION $ that his victims lost to his fraud.
• Michael Jackson, the self-styled King of Pop, dying suddenly apparently from a sleeping potion gone wrong (administered by his personal physician!)
• Tom DeLay, disgraced former House majority leader, making a huge fool of himself on "reality show" Dancing With the Stars.
• Patti Blagojevich, wife of disgraced former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich (no slouch at making a fool of himself on TV and radio) making a huge fool of herself by allegedly swallowing insects on "reality show" I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here.
• All sorts of idiotic reality show wannabees (the Salahis, balloon boy parents, etc.) achieving their 15 minutes of fame while the media lusted after them.
• Modern day pirates, absent the cachet of Johnny Depp or even Capt. Hook, terrorizing the high seas more or less with impunity.
• Tiger Woods, king of not only golf but of celebrity commercialism, slipping so badly from his absurdly elevated image, that his only possible redemption will be to appear on Oprah's final show (in 2011!) with Elin in hand (probably $100 million richer), doing a public mea culpa and receiving a hug and absolution from the real Queen (forget about Elizabeth).

Can 2010 be any crazier? Stay tuned.

The Reality of TV

The recent news that major cable provider Comcast is (subject to Federal government approval)acquiring a 51% interest in NBC Universal, which of course includes the iconic National Broadcasting Company, is a little unsettling.

In addition to the possible ultimate loss of the NBC brand (just like Sears Tower and Marshall Field's) there appears to be a real threat to the position of broadcast TV vs. cable, which of course is Comcast's business. Although NBC for example has a strong news division, its entertainment sector is hurting badly --no more "must see TV" as in the heyday of Seinfeld, Cheers and ER. In fact, most of the highly rated broadcast shows on all 4 major networks are so-called reality shows, generally cheaper to produce and catering to all manner of TV watchers.

Where would broadcast TV be without the likes of the Survivor franchise, American Idol, Dancing With the Stars, The Biggest Loser, etc? The latter show incidentally has been plagued by accusations of dangerous weight loss techniques, fake scales, etc. Many other "reality shows" are obviously scripted (how about the various Apprentice programs?).

The scariest (saddest?) phenomenon has been the emergence of a new sub-class of "reality wannabes" ranging from the Hennes of balloon-boy infamy to the Salahis of gate crasher infamy. Michaele Salahi was apparently hoping to land a spot on something called "Real Housewives of Washington DC". BTW, does this mean that all other housewives are unreal? Just asking.

Given the irresistible lure of appearing in front of a TV camera (even looking stupid) for a huge number of Americans, don't expect the latest news (Comcast/NBC) to improve the quality of programs on broadcast TV. Look for scripted dramas, etc. to gradually continue to morph onto cable so that the only person you'll recognize on network TV will be your neighbor.

Obfuscation

Obfuscation can be defined as something deliberately unclear or unintelligible. While we are all subjected to daily (hourly?) attempts to obfuscate, particularly by politicians, the art of doing so has perhaps reached new heights lately. Consider:

TIGER WOODS--The P.R. damage from his 3 AM encounter with a fire hydrant and tree (and perhaps his wife's wrath)has escalated exponentially with each attempt to obfuscate by his agent, lawyers, spin doctors, spokespersons (even his mother-in-law in Sweden has one), friends, neighbors, gofers and generally anyone purporting to speak on his behalf, since he won't. The carefully crafted image, which helps to rake in millions in endorsements (along with his undeniable golf prowess)is rapidly eroding which means that when Tiger inevitably has to appear again in public in early 2010 (unless he's quitting the tour!)a new, improved round of obfuscation will no doubt emerge. WANTED: Master Obfuscator. Fee, no problem.

WHITE HOUSE CRASHERS-- While appearing (without compensation, they were quick to note) on the Today Show, Michaele and Tareq Salahi "answered" Matt Lauer's direct question of who invited them to last week's State dinner by replying that it was up to the Secret Service's timetable as to when they produced the evidence. For a high degree of obfuscation, not to mention gigantic chutzpah, the Salahis are hereby awarded the TNB 2009 Liars of the Year prize, consisting of 2 tickets to the next World Series game at Wrigley Field.

SAMMY SOSA-- Just when you thought Sammy reached the zenith in obfuscation several years ago when he stonewalled a Congressional committee investigating steroids use in baseball by pretending he didn't understand English (he brought along an interpreter)he now wants us to believe that his skin has turned accidentally white because of some special cream he needed to combat the effects of playing day baseball at the aforementioned Wrigley Field. Next bit of obfuscation will no doubt attempt to explain his corked bat.

It's getting difficult to believe anything (except of course what you read here).

20/20 Hindsight

The term "20/20 Hindsight" of course refers to the phenomenon whereby someone or some group gains perfect understanding of an event after it has happened. The gaining of such knowledge through retrospection, rather than being aware of circumstances as they unfold in real time, is constantly causing second (and third) guessers to become often justifiably upset.

If only the obvious dots had been connected concerning the 9/11 hijackers, which in 20/20 hindsight were glaringly apparent! Or the many warning signs/red flags which were overlooked or ignored, allowing Bernie Madoff to continue his epic swindle. Or the California kidnapping and imprisonment of a young girl by a known sexual predator (which went on for 18 years until discovered). And on and on.

Now we are experiencing 20/20 hindsight conerning the alleged perpetrator of the horrific Fort Hood massacre -- one Maj. Nidal Hasan, an apparent failure as an Army psychiatrist counseling (!) soldiers with emotional issues. Not to mention his anti U.S. rantings (from an Army officer) and many other obvious clues he planted--but no one noticed enough to say or do anything. How typical. Now, when it's too late (13 dead, 31 injured) as usual a lot of people have belatedly awakened (see the Virginia Tech massacre, etc.) that a very disturbed person was roaming around freely. It's too scary to get involved beforehand, but oh the (safe) benefits of 20/20 hindsight.

TNB believes that today's wondrous technology should permit the development of 20/20 foresight (not to be used for investments, gambling and other selfish pursuits). Let him know where some can be obtained.

Racism is Thriving

In a post less than five months ago, on June 2, 2009, entitled "Racism is Alive" TNB decried the then swelling racism in the United States, primarily as evidenced by the Sonia Sotomayor Supreme Court nomination (BTW, did anyone notice her initial performance on the Court when she asked more questions than Clarence Thomas cumulatively has expressed in 18 years?). Sad to say things appear to have gotten much worse to the extent that racism is not only alive but thriving. Consider just a few examples recently reported:

• Louisiana Justice of Peace Keith Bardwell refused to marry an interracial couple, stating that he believed the children of such marriages suffer. Let's see--there's Derek Jeter, Tiger Woods and some fellow named Barack Obama, just for starters. Welcome to 1909, Keith--you're a century too late.
• Taos, New Mexico hotel owner Larry Whitten fired some of his Hispanic employees (Taos is 70% Hispanic) for speaking Spanish in front of him (he thinks, probably correctly, that they're talking badly about him) and for refusing to Anglicize their first names. Marcos would become Mark, Maria will be Mary, Jose will be Joe, etc. if this enlightened gentleman prevails. Welcome to the Southwestern U.S., Larry, you too are obviously living way in the past.
• ESPN college football analyst Bob Griese, who should know better having spent his adult life involved with the heavily integrated sport (including his many champion years as quarterback of the Miami Dolphins) carelessly remarked that race driver Juan Pablo Montoya would probably not finish in the top 5 of the Nascar standings because he was frequently occupied eating tacos. If Montoya worked for Larry Whitten, he of course would be John Paul.

Is it TNB's imagination working in overdrive or do the recent increases in racially insensitive incidents result largely from the incredible (and acceptable to many) antipathy to the President because of the color of his skin? We sure have a long way to go.

Does Anything Ever Change

After a month long hiatus, which included a European trip, TNB has returned to find that, although some of the names and circumstances have changed, essentially human behavior hasn't. You can always count on strange events or individual flaws or foibles to provide matters of interest. Witness the following:

• After a Herculean and very expensive effort (and a last minute trip to Copenhagen by President Obama), Chicago received a grand total of 18 votes out of 94 from the International Olympic Committee and was eliminated on the first ballot as the site for the 2016 Summer Olympics. This disappointment was met with raucous cheers from the far right because, although it might be an insult to the United States, it showed to them that Obama was weak!
• Exactly one week later several hundred miles north in Oslo, President Obama was amazingly (and very prematurely) awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. This surprise was met with raucous boos from the far right, because although it might be a compliment to the United States, it showed to them that Obama was weak!
• After not only the above events but the continuing viciousness over health care reform, Rush Limbaugh was asked if he could find one thing positive about the President and replied that he had a good voice. Rush of course had a bad week when he was removed from a list of potential investors seeking to purchase the NFL St. Louis Rams because of his well documented instances of spewing racial hatred (the NFL is 65% African-American). Rush blamed the whole debacle on that guy with the good voice. Really.
• On a somewhat different note, the media was transfixed by the balloon boy incident thus proving that "reality TV" (often scripted) and those who aspire to participate are taking over our culture. OMG!
• Finally, in a lightly reported incident at Madison Square Garden, the coach of an Israeli basketball team playing an exhibition against the New York Knicks was ejected but refused to leave until a rabbi, with yarmulke affixed, who was traveling with the team (which raises funds for an orphanage in Israel) had to come onto the court to intervene. Perhaps he could get invoved in mediating the Middle Eastern conflict. OY VEY!

It's obviously good to be home.

El Toro Crapo

For many years the comedy duo The Smothers Brothers have included in their largely clean routine the made up Spanglish sounding term El Toro Crapo which of course is a euphemism for the common vulgarity B.S. When one assesses the state of some of our institutions and celebrities the inescapable conclusion is El Toro Crapo. Consider:

• Joe Wilson, the idiot South Carolina congressman who was censured by the House of Representatives for shouting "you lie!" at President Obama turns out to bear the actual birth name Addison Graves Wilson. He's no more a Joe than Joe the Plumber (nee Samuel Wurzlbacher and also not a plumber) nor probably Sarah Palin's idol Joe Sixpack. TNB's take on what you hear from this entire group is El Toro Crapo.
• Michael Jordan, arguably the greatest basketball player ever but never mistaken for the greatest person (check out his relatively paltry charitable history) managed at his ungracious Hall of Fame acceptance speech to go out of his way to offend anyone who might have slighted him such as his high school coach who initially cut him from the team over 30 years ago, his college coach (the legendary Dean Smith) for some imagined oversight and several others who have unfortunately challenged him over the years. TNB's opinion on MJ's remarks and most of his other utterances is El Toro Crapo.
• Speaking of overpaid, spoiled athletes, tennis star Serena Williams, who had a profane meltdown at the US Open when she threatened violent harm to a lineswoman just doing her job, took 2 days to apologize after no doubt being warned by her many corporate sponsors (the $10,000 fine levied on her was chump change compared to her winnings). TNB's belief in the sincerity of said apology is that it is El Toro Crapo.
• As far as sincerity is concerned how about all the shocked right wing ideologues who constantly deny that much of their virulent opposition to Obama (especially the ludicrous reaction to his address to schoolchildren) is, as suggested by TNB last week, no more than disguised racism and their inability to accept a black man as President. Each person who persists in these denials (including people known personally to TNB) will henceforth be greeted with El Toro Crapo.

No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

The old cynical maxim that no good deed goes unpunished has certainly been illustrated quite vividly recently. Take for example:

President Obama's attempt to use the prestige of the presidency to urge schoolchildren to stay in school and get a quality education, listen to teachers and parents, avoid predators by being cautious on social networking sites like Facebook, etc. sounds like a no-brainer good deed. Oh, but of course he was pilloried everywhere by the usual cadre of right-wing yahoos (sorely in need of more education but obviously beyond hope) complaining that he was going to inject politics in his talk (perhaps some Fundamentalist religion would have been OK). Thus, many timid school districts din't carry the speech. Good deed gets punished equaling at least a PR victory for the ignorant.

Even worse, the President's noble attempt to reform health care and (horrors!) provide all Americans with an opportunity to avail themselves of at least minimum coverage has been met with an apparently successful roadblock by the uninformed, self-centered and just downright nasty. Many (including acquaintances of TNB) have taken to calling Obama a Communist (!) for his efforts. Memo to my fellow seniors--do you consider Medicare a Communist program? Oh, but that's different because if we're all eligible it must be OK. We now have the spectacle of yet another Republican moron, one Rep. Joe Wilson (SC) shouting from the floor of Congress to Obama "you lie" (of course, the President didn't). Lost in the vitriol is another potential good deed.

Although not as altruistic a good deed, because of the commercial promotion involved, Oprah Winfrey's "street fair" taping of her season opening which required closing down a few blocks of Chicago's Michigan Avenue for one business day was received with yet another round of catcalls. One would have thought that the city was brought to its knees. Rather, Mayor Daley and surrounding businesses heartily endorsed Oprah's efforts (she footed the entire bill, including police costs) as casting a very positive light on Chicago.

Is it just TNB's deep cynicism or is there another subtext at work here, besides the "O" heading their names and the fact that both Obama and Oprah are Chicagoans? Couldn't be a tinge of racism, could it?

BLOGGER'S NOTE: If you haven't seen the comment added to last week's post Fear for Your Safety, check it out. A sitting family court judge, who faces sexual predators on a daily basis, includes her chilling perspective.

Fear for Your Safety

Although we have known for some time that the United States, with its entrenched guns culture, is not among the safest nations most Americans believe that dangerous criminals would be kept incarcerated. Yet time and again the headlines remind us that due to incompetence, shortsightedness and just plain stupidity on the part of authorities a violently dangerous criminal might be released in our midst often without anyone's knowledge.

Take the mind boggling case of Phillip Garrido, convicted and registered sex offender, who shortly after release from prison allegedly (with the help of his wife!) abducted an 11 year old girl in California and kept her in captivity for 18 years, fathering two daughters by her. Where were the authorities? Despite repeated visits by sheriff's deputies and parole officers over all this time, no one noticed the backyard compound of tents and makeshift structures where all 3 females lived. Although there were many warning signs no one "connected the dots" just like exactly 8 years ago when the FBI and others failed to "connect the dots" which might have prevented 9/11. Gives you a lot of confidence in law enforcement, doesn't it?

Just this week in Chicago, we have the horrifying case of one Julius Anderson, a violent sexual criminal who over the strong objections of the Illinois Attorney General and Cook County States Attorney was released after 30 years in prison (Illinois has a special law permitting continued imprisonment of such individuals). Almost immediately he allegedly committed two violent sexual assaults. Apparently his release was approved (!) by a contract psychologist who believed he was fit for society. Tell that to the 2 women involved.

TNB wonders which gives a greater false sense of security--making someone register as a sex offender or, in another commonly exploited situation, taking out an order of protection which has routinely been ignored or poorly enforced (check out a number of murders of those who have obtained such an order).

Suggestion to U.S. Attorney General Holder--stop worrying about punishing a few misguided CIA agents in the torture case and start, along with your counterparts in all the States, to make our country safer.

Can You Believe

Can you believe that:

• The "patients" depicted in medical commercials, usually suffering from bladder control issues, elevated cholesterol, osteoporosis and other maladies, all make such remarkable recoveries after using the sponsor's product (of course first asking their doctors) that they are invariably shown romping on mountain hikes, riding horses and swimming the English Channel (OK, not the last one). If that strains your credulity, how about TNB's current favorite-- a middle aged hunk taking Viagra and then riding a motorcycle to the inevitable rendezvous with a very willing partner? Wasn't this drug originally aimed at say a more mature user?
• The so called (self anointed) fashion mavens are aghast that First Lady Michelle Obama was photographed wearing (gasp!) shorts on a beach. Oh, for the good old days--when formality reigned in the White House, as exemplified by Richard (I Am Not A Crook) Nixon being photographed on the beach at San Clemente wearing a suit and tie. This was one classy gentleman.
• Kansas Congresswoman Lynn Jenkins who, before gagging on the foot she inserted in her mouth, called for her fellow Republicans to find some Great White Hope to defeat you-know-who in 2012. That slogan was used a century ago in regard to potential opponents of black heavyweight champion Jack Johnson. We have certainly made great strides in this country since then.
• John Mackey, CEO of organic nutrition supermarket chain Whole Foods, seemed to imply, in an OpEd piece he wrote, that only the rich (like guess who) really deserved full health care and the rest of us should just stay healthy, supposedly by only patronizing his stores. No death panels for him!
• There is such a scarcity of qualified guests for TV talk shows that Illinois Mr. and Ms. Scuzz (a/k/a Rod and Patti Blagojevich) are appearing on The View. Of course, until he was incarcerated, the Today Show regularly featured Drew Peterson. Next up--Bernie Madoff on 60 Minutes?

All this proves, of course, is that anything is believable because as someone more profound than TNB said--you can't make this up.

The Dog Days of Summer

The period between roughly early July and late August has historically been known as "the dog days of summer". One explanation for this term is that the so called "dog stars" (Canis Major and Canis Minor) are then most closely aligned with the sun, thus supposedly contributing to the usual (but not always) sultry weather during such dog days. A more specific definition is that the dog days represent a period of stagnation and inactivity, sometimes accompanied by a frightening wilting of the brain. Consider the following recent occurrences:

• Hillary Clinton, in dire need of some fresh makeup and a hair stylist, nastily answered a question from a Kenyan student by stating that she not Bill was Secretary of State (this after an apparent translation error). She was apparently wilting due to the extreme dog days in Africa.
• Former Republican congressional leader and attack dog (sorry) Tom DeLay has achieved a place on Dancing With The Stars (no, not Canis Major). DeLay's judgment, never admirable, has apparently wilted under the hot Texas sun.
• Millionaire Chicago Cubs pitcher Carlos Zambrano lamely explained that he wasn't improving after recent back problems because (despite his gargantuan and undeserved salary) he was too lazy to comply with his prescribed exercise regimen. In fairness, the dog days for Zambrano's brain seem to be all year long.
• Speaking of the Cubs, once again the August dog days are being blamed for another monumental collapse although Chicago's summer has been unusually cool and the Perpetual Losers play many more night games these days. Perhaps a hex has been placed on them not by the famous goat but by Canis Minor.
• Previously obscure Sheryl Weinstein, perhaps best known for loudly portraying to TV cameras (outside the court where he was sentenced) that she and her family were victims ruined by Bernie Madoff, announced that she had written a memoir disclosing that while she was chief financial officer of the charitable organization Hadassah (which lost millions by investing with Madoff) she had an affair with Bernie. This story is only of mild interest because there's so little real news during the dog days.

Just Say No

In the perhaps somewhat more civilized Great Britain, the political party or parties out of power at least used to be known as the loyal opposition. Here in the United States, this concept never really took root, but especially ever since Barack Obama became the first foreign born President (oops), the opposition has become in the immortal words of the immortal Spiro Agnew, "nattering nabobs of negativism". In fact, one could say they are exponents of the famous (and futile) Nancy Reagan anti-drug message ---Just Say No. Nancy, of course, is supporting the President (understandably) on his stem cell research initiatives (Just Say Yes) thus angering many in the party which constantly holds up her husband as their ultimate hero.

But there are many other daily opportunities for the disloyal opposition (fueled by Fox News and of course the Internet) to Just Say No. Consider:

• The wildly popular Cash for Clunkers program has been derided by many in the GOP despite real evidence that it is providing some significant stimulus (especially to the beleaguered auto industry) and also is ridding the country of hundreds of thousands of gas guzzling, polluting clunkers. But why approve of something that works (especially when the entire Republican strategy is for Obama to fail, along apparently with the the entire nation)? Snide remarks such as "what's next, cash for chickens?" are more examples of the Just Say No syndrome. Where were these people when their friends in the financial industries were being bailed out last fall, which was not necessarily a bad thing either. But that program was pushed by one of their own, not this radical socialist now in power.
• What reasonable American could find fault with Bill Clinton's North Korea mission to free the two imprisoned journalists (and perhaps offer a tiny diplomatic opening to that isolated and worrisome country)? How about some unreasonable members of the Just Say No crowd who are frantically worrying about what we had to give Kim Jong Il in return? Perhaps Bill arranged a date with the Secretary of State. Hey, nothing's too preposterous for the naysayers to worry about.
• Don't even get TNB started on the some of the absurd arguments against any and all parts of the Obama health care plan, which of course is far from perfect. But come on--some of the speeches given and charts exhibited in Congress explain exactly why Americans hold most members of that body in such low esteem, slightly above steroid using millionaire athletes.

In both 2010 and 2012, there will be ample chances for the U.S. voters to Just Say No to these clowns and their ilk.

Mad Men

On Sunday, August 16 the brilliant AMC series Mad Men will begin its 3rd season. Mad Men, which is wordplay for "ad men" is a biting, largely accurate depiction of the mores of the 1960's as practiced in a Madison Avenue ad agency. TNB can vouch for the rampant sexism and smoking of those days but not the drinking (CPA's needed to keep their minds sharp).

One can only imagine what the ad men (there were few women although there is one making her way up on the show) of 40 plus years ago, who faced a far more conservative society than we now have, would make of the incredible opportunities existing today. For example:

• Wouldn't Don Draper (the hero) and his cohorts have loved to represent say Bud Light which is receiving the tacit approval of President Obama at his "beerfest" scheduled for tonight. Although the original cause (racial profiling) of the upcoming get-together is quite serious, and was certainly poorly handled, a good ad man should be able to portray the beer sipping as an endorsement. Or maybe they could get the President to reveal his cigarette of choice for his occasional puff. Of course, tobacco can't be advertised but the ad world would see that publicity would ensue anyway.
• Nobody in the Mad Men heyday could have foreseen the possibilities in medical advertising which has been permitted for fewer than 20 years. Operating with practically no restraints ("call your doctor if you have an erection lasting over 4 hours"), other than the ubiquitous side effect warnings ("might cause warts on your face, blindness or death, etc.") it would have been delicious to see what the creative minds of yore would have brought forth.
• And what about today's no holds barred largely negative political advertising (mostly absent in this non-election year)? Also operating with few restraints (such as the truth) this area would have provided a far more fertile ground than existed back then. Although there was the scary 1964 ad depicting Presidential candidate Barry Goldwater as a war mongering child killer.

So if you take TNB's advice and get caught up in Mad Men just fast forward in your mind how these rich characters would have probably behaved in 2009.

Sonia and Sarah

With perhaps only the exception of President Obama whose every activity(including whether the jeans he wore while throwing out the first pitch at the All Star game were too baggy!) is breathlessly chronicled, and even including the recently deceased Michael Jackson (who was possibly prescription medicationed to death???) and whose news coverage appears to be thankfully fading, no two public figures have received more current attention, positive and negative, than Sonia (Sotomayor) and Sarah (Palin). It is difficult if not impossible to find someone who likes them both (or for that matter hates them both). About the only thing they have in common is their gender.

Sonia, a highly educated, accomplished and articulate jurist who of course is of Puerto Rican extraction, appears to be ready to be confirmed to the Supreme Court, where she should prove to be a sensible, moderately liberal (the Democrats did win the election) addition to that august body which boasts one Clarence Thomas as a living model of ineptitude. But never mind. Her biggest fault among her detractors (largely fossilized right wing white men) is indeed the aforementioned heritage. Talk about reaching out to the Hispanic vote, a lost cause among the GOP. This is the party of Gingrich, Limbaugh, Rove, Cheney, Sanford and Ensign. What would you expect?

Sarah, a poorly educated, unaccomplished and inarticulate soon to be (by her own choice) ex-Governor, appears ready to stir up the "real America" of her dreams (translation=white, rural, gun-loving) either to make a lot of money (that's the REAL America) and/or position herself to be her party's 2012 standard bearer. Fully 71% of Republicans polled (the majority of whom are fossilized, right wing white men) would support her for President. This is scary indeed until you bring out the extra factor in Sarah's favor (especially among right wing white men of all ages)--undeniably she's a babe, certainly by the relative standards of most successful female politicians. TNB wonders --could horny white men carry the next election? This would only be fair considering how women swooned over say Jack Kennedy. Of course, he was highly educated, accomplished and articulate. Sort of like Sonia.

Does It Annoy You

With all the major things going on today of great concern to you, such as your health, your family and your finances not to mention the day to day news such as Sasha and Malia meeting the Pope, the Burr Oak cemetery grave robbing and the disturbing news that 71% of Republicans polled support Sarah Palin for president, it's a wonder that any of us have time for the daily annoyances of life. But maybe it's therapeutic to just forget everything else noted above and concentrate on what does annoy you. Naturally TNB is similarly annoyed by things like:

• TV weathermen who make absurd long range forecasts that everyone forgets about and are never required to say "I was wrong" (A great job indeed)
• Drivers who cannot pull out of parking spaces in already highly dangerous shopping centers without being on their cell phones ("I just bought some bagels")
• Physicians who develop "boutique" practices so they can charge their patients an annual "encounter fee" (Does it count if you encounter your doctor say in the restroom of a restaurant?)
• Fellow moviegoers who are nice enough to let everyone else in on their analysis of the plot by talking loudly in the theater ("I think the butler is really a spy")
• Solicitation calls for ominous sounding but often only marginally legitimate organizations such as the Police Protection Association (Implication= don't contribute; watch out next time you need help)
• Bank fees for routine transactions that are so excessive that customers are inhibited from using necessary services (Why pay $50 to stop payment on a check for $40 that may have been lost?)
• Late night talk shows such as David Letterman's which never tell the viewers that they are about to watch a repeat ("I thought it was weird that the monologue was about Hillary vs. Barack")
• "Friends" who have not yet accepted last November's election results and insist on sending the same ludicrous E-Mails as were commonplace during the campaign ("Obama really is the Manchurian Candidate")

This list is only partial at best. What really annoys you (including The Normal Blog)? Let TNB know. Material for future posts is always welcome.

What A Great Country

Americans are always reminded every July 4th of all of the great things about our country, from our unparalleled freedoms to our stable governments to our abundant resources (if we don't waste them). But what really makes us great is how we can weather some amazingly bizarre behavior. For instance:

• Apparently over a million people wanted tickets to the upcoming spectacle also known as the memorial to Michael Jackson. There's nothing better to do? They can't be all unemployed, can they? Why such a public honor for someone who despite his incredible talent had really serious character flaws? Bob Herbert, a respected African-American columnist for The New York Times just last week described Michael as a pedophile who settled for $25 million a lawsuit the facts of which "would make your hair stand on end". This is a different case than the criminal matter for which a starstruck California jury (see O.J. Simpson and Robert Blake) acquitted him. It disgusts TNB that so much attention is lavished on this misguided soul while soldiers, firefighters, policemen and others who give their lives to protect us are ignored. What a great country!
• Is there yet another governor afflicted with terminal weirdness? First there was Eliot Spitzer, then Rod Blagojevich and very recently Mark Sanford. Now comes the (for the time being) the new champ--Sarah Palin. Right after John McCain, to his eternal regret, plucked her from obscurity she has been a polarizing but sort of fascinating individual. More than most politicians, she represented and exemplified the great mass of Americans who think with their heart and believe there's a simple answer to everything (if she could only remember what that answer is). Sort of like those who would travel across the country for Michael Jackson's funeral. Now it turns out that for reasons unexplained (at least in some form of the English language) she's quitting as Alaska's governor. If she really disappears from the national scene (don't bet on it) it will be devastating for comedians and TNB, among others. Or maybe we'll elect her the next President. What a great country!

Notoriety

While the word "notoriety" can be used to mean fame or renown, most often it's synonomous with dishonor or infamy. To a greater or lesser extent, the latter usages apply to the three major stories of the last week, which coincidentally ended a tumultuous first half of 2009.

MARK SANFORD
It took some doing but the heretofore little known South Carolina governor has one-upped his many hypocritical holier than thou "family values" (now there's a slogan!) GOP brethren such as Mark Foley, Larry Craig, David Vitter and John Ensign along with several right-wing "preachers" by singing Don't Cry for Me Argentina to his Evita (a.k.a. Maria) while literally and figuratively taking a hike from family, gubernatorial duties, etc. The 2012 Republican field of presidential possibilities has been so seriously reduced that TNB hears that Dick Cheney may be resuscitated, both literally and figuratively. Of course, the Democrats have Eliot Spitzer, John Edwards (and Bill Clinton) but at least they don't generally pretend to be saintly.

MICHAEL JACKSON
The legend of the roller coaster life of the wondrously talented but remarkably flawed King of Pop will only grow with time. Already the conspiracy theories are being promulgated. To no one's shock, it is now being "revealed" that Michael was not the biological father of his three children. If you could ever peek behind their disguises (one has to feel truly sorry for these kids who have never interacted with other children along with everything else that has gone on) it was obvious that they are 100% white. Skin diseases or whitening or whatever does not change reproductive genes. There are also questions as to whose fertilized eggs were used. Just the beginning! The only comforting news is that the two relentless camera hogs, Jesse Jackson (no relation) and Al Sharpton (no relation) are hard at work, just helping the family.

BERNARD MADOFF
The most telling part of the sentencing, along with the understandable venting by some of the many victims of the King of Fraud, was that the judge received no letters of support from family or anyone. This too is understandable, since just about anyone who ever knew Uncle Bernie, even those who might have been enablers or worse (see J. Ezra Merkin, Walter Noel, Robert Jaffe and others who will soon be totally ruined) was screwed by him. An amazing "talent" which as so often happens with criminals could have been put to positive uses. Maybe as a diplomat, dealing with say Iran's President Amadinejad, who (once he got over some ethnicity issues) would have been eating out of Bernie's hand or at least stuffing oil revenues in our pockets.

Almost too much notoriety for 7 days. Hopefully, July 4th fireworks will seem much quieter.

Why Become President

It used to be that every boy (and then later every girl) supposedly aspired to become President of the United States one day. Obviously, less than 50 (so far all men) have made it in well over two centuries. Do you often wonder why anybody would want this job?

Sure, there is incredible fame, especially ultimately when your likeness appears on postage stamps, currency and statues not to mention the airports, highways and ships that might be named after you.

And the perks aren't bad--nice house, private airplane fleet, great security (although the need for this is pretty scary), lots of people seeing to your every wish, etc. So what's the downside? Well, for starters, look at the following:

• Every policy, decision and yes utterance is analyzed and often severely criticized (often only for political "advantage"). The ubiquity of the Internet, twittering and blogging (along with the 24/7 news cycle) has greatly increased the spotlight shining on any current President. Is Barack Obama too wimpy when it comes to Iran, too harsh when it comes to Israel, too socialistic when dealing with GM and Chrysler and so on? Pick your side of these and numerous other issues--you'll find many who agree and probably an equal number who'll disagree, often vehemently, with the President's position. Obviously, a thick hide is necessary for this job.
• Every personal trait is also discussed ad nauseum in today's transparent world. Has the President actually snuck a cigarette or two, perhaps to relieve a little stress or perhaps because like many, it is very difficult for him to quit? Why should this matter? Has he used the Marine helicopter to take Michelle to a play in New York? Do you really care? None of us were going to ride in it anyway.

The ego of politicians is certainly a factor in explaining why anyone would want to become President. TNB can understand this, because until 2008 when John McCain (nine months TNB's junior) was derided for being "too old", TNB fantasized about lightning striking. Those perks!!!

Will Fraud Ever Stop

Winston Churchill famously remarked that people who don't learn from past mistakes are doomed to repeat them. This is certainly apt when considering the lessons of various futile attempts over the years to combat financial fraud.

In TNB's own accounting profession each major scandal (unfortunately many) has been met with new auditing rules and other methods intended to prevent or uncover fraud. Landmark situations, each of which generated strong but ultimately somewhat ineffectual responses, included McKesson Robbins (1938), The Great Salad Oil Scandal (1962) and Enron (2001). Then there were (are?) the ever present Ponzi schemes culminating in the (so far) granddaddy of them all, which was only brought to light when more of Bernie Madoff's investors demanded withdrawals than new pigeons could be found.

Why don't new and improved regulations, standards and awareness succeed better at curtailing fraud? Besides an unfortunate "willingness" (greed) on the part of some prospective victims, the psyche of the fraud perpetrators usually includes an ego so large that being caught is not contemplated. And/or the sociopathic nature of these people is often not noticed, as again best exemplified by that distinguished gentleman now sitting in a New York jail awaiting his June 16 sentencing.

It sounds cynical, but as this posting is being typed and despite everything noted above, no doubt new and improved frauds are now being created. Thus TNB's advice echoes that of the Sergeant at roll call on the old Hill Street Blues TV show "just be careful out there".

Racism is Alive

Over 50 years have elapsed since the landmark Supreme Court desegregation decision Brown v. Board of Education while more than 40 years have passed since the enactment of major civil and voting rights legislation. Not to mention of course the election of a man of color as President.

Naturally, all this means that racism in the United States has been eliminated, right? Well, things have markedly improved in the last half century in education, job and housing opportunities, etc. But in the hearts of many (and their mouths) racism is still alive. To cite a few examples:

• Several leading Republicans such as Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh have called Supreme Court nominee Sonia Sotomayor a racist for some benign remarks about Latina women (like herself) she made outside of the courtroom in the past. Of course, both of these gentlemen (!!!) have pristine racial diversity records. Limbaugh once advised an African-American female caller to take the bone out of her mouth and lauded James Earl Ray as a hero for assassinating Martin Luther King, Jr. Judge Sotomayor will need to go some (she obviously won't) to be a "racist" comparable to either of them. Since neither Newt nor Rush has a Senate vote on her confirmation, let's just assume that the Republicans in that body will generally give her a fair hearing such as the last two nominees (Roberts and Alito) received from the then-minority Democrats.
• Speaking of Sotomayor, recent GOP presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee had to be also pandering to his "base" (who are these people?) when he called her "Maria" obviously alluding to the doomed immigrant Puerto Rican heroine of West Side Story. Sort of racist, you think?
• Arkansas GOP senatorial candidate Kim Hendren recently called NY Sen. Chuck Schumer "that Jew". Does Hendren feel the same way about Va. Rep. Eric Cantor, considered a major Republican future star?

Actually, it has become far easier to disseminate such garbage with today's technologies. Gingrich tweeted his venomous message, which seems appropriate since he's for the birds.

Ramblings

The only connection between the matters discussed below are that they show ever more unpleasant facets of the human condition:

• About 150 years ago (when the U.S. population was 31 million) famous showman P.T. Barnum was credited with saying "a sucker is born every minute". In today's terms (with 310 million Americans) that would translate to "a sucker is born every 6 seconds" which seems just about accurate. How else to explain how many suckers exist to fall for every conceivable type of fraud--from the "sophisticated" investors who without question or diligence gave Bernie Madoff and other mini-Madoffs their fortunes to the less wordly who are or were involved in all sorts of absurd get rich quick schemes ("earn $200,000 from your home!") to the unfortunate and desperate who fall prey to dangerous fad diet claims and other impossible cures for various ailments? The bearded lady and other phony acts in Barnum's old carnivals were harmless bits of entertainment for yesteryear's suckers compared to what goes on in modern society.
• Is there any country in the "developed world" more ridiculous and hypocritical when it comes to sex and commercialism than the U.S.? While our courts devote precious time to decide whether Janet Jackson's Super Bowl "wardrobe malfunction" or fleeting obscenities uttered by celebrities are punishable offenses (?), the airwaves are polluted with not-so-subtle commercials about erectile dysfunction cures (don't you love the couple sitting outside apparently naked in side by side old bathtubs?) or K-Y petroleum jelly, etc. These aren't obscene? TNB, certainly no prude, is actually most amused by the several spots where young couples (no need for Cialis) breathe rather heavily in public until inevitably an old biddy says "get a room". It turns out that the commercial is for a furniture company pushing ROOM additions. Sex sells.
• Speaking of suckers, who exactly watches "reality shows" like the upcoming "I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here"? Successor to a long line of quality television productions like "The Biggest Loser" (actually the viewer), "I Married My Niece" (OK, TNB made this one up) and others, the new show, set to debut in June, will feature Z-list "celebs" like Patti Blagojevich (Mrs. Rod) eating insects and doing other gross out things while on location in the Costa Rican jungle. Mr. Rod was not allowed to participate by the Federal judge overseeing his criminal case who strangely didn't trust the Smiling Serb to return to Chicago for trial. This judge obviously doesn't appreciate what TV viewers will be missing.

Corrections-- A sharp eyed reader noticed that both Arlen Specter and Jim Cramers's surnames were misspelled in the last post which was, you may recall, was entitled "Pathetic" which is how TNB feels about such errors. But please keep reading and sending in your comments, both positive and critical.

Pathetic

Just when there appeared to be a little lull in the obnoxious rantings coming from politicians and pundits, along comes some really pathetic individuals.

Who could possibly be more pathetic than Sen. Arlen Spector (D or R--your choice) of Pennsylvania? Facing certain defeat in next year's Republican primary in his home state, Sen. Turncoat took the pathetic route. Instead of retiring after 30 years in the Senate, at age 79 with a host of health problems, he opted to declare himself a Democrat. This development was pathetically welcomed by both President Obama and Vice President Biden, who apparently found time while continually inserting his foot in his mouth to lobby Spector to make the change.

Why? Spector will (maybe) give the Democrats the 60th vote they need to prevent GOP filibusters. That is, if Al Franken finally is seated after numerous court challenges in the Minnesota race by former GOP Senator Norm Coleman. But not so fast. Spector stated that he wants Coleman to win so there will still be at least one Jewish Republican in the Senate. So much for the 60th vote and any party "loyalty". Spector, who is best remembered for his vicious baiting of Anita Hill during the 1991 Clarence Thomas confirmation hearings, should not be embraced by Obama who already has a pathetic Jewish Senator in Joe Lieberman who mostly votes with the President after smearing him during the campaign. This is really disgusting.

But perhaps even worse we have the CNBC charmers such as Larry Kudlow and Jim Creamer who have likened Obama to Lenin and believe (or do they?) that we are in the throes of Soviet style socialism, etc. etc. Obama's "sin" of course is that he dared to "invade" the sacrosanct free market in order to save the country from a possible depression. Their solution would be just to stand by and let the financial system, auto industry, etc. fail. More than pathetic. Responsible dissent has disappeared and been replaced by demagoguery. It's sad that the only way that the two parties come together is when Arlen Spector looks in the mirror. Ugh!

Ticked Off

Regular readers of The Normal Blog will surely agree that most postings consist of factual, well reasoned positions with little or no hint of TNB's emotions. Ranting is not allowed. Thus, you may be shocked to learn that TNB is really ticked off this week, due in no small measure to the following:

• The Flyover--- What were they thinking? How could anyone be so stupid? Etc. Etc. Of course, this refers to the Air Force One look alike "photo-op" which took place in Lower Manhattan without warning, thus justifiably frightening thousands of New Yorkers with obvious memories of 9/11. Both President Obama and NYC Mayor Bloomberg stated that they had no advance notice and were "furious". So, did a head roll? Of course not silly, these are government employees. TNB is ticked off because no one was fired and required to seek a position in the private sector (good luck). Instead the White House official involved issued a lame apology (probably ghostwritten) and the New York official who failed to notify Bloomberg had an administrative reprimand placed in his file. No word on whether he was told to stand in the corner.
• The Singing Sensation--- Is there anyone who has not by now seen the YouTube video of the (formerly) frumpy Scottish lady Susan Boyle wowing British judges with her rendition of "I Had A Dream"? TNB is ticked off, not at her certainly, but at the entire entertainment media for their breathless and stunned reaction that someone who isn't beautiful, has allegedly never been kissed, dresses poorly etc. could possibly succeed. She has already had somewhat of a makeover and sadly once the media tires of the novelty, her 15 minutes of fame will likely end.
• Dick Cheney--- Although George W. Bush seems to have gracefully retired to private life (did he really want to be President?), Darth Vader has emerged from 8 years of hiding to become the unwanted spokesman for the Republican Party. TNB is ticked off that Cheney, who never seemed to be available for meaningful interviews while Vice President, has now appointed himself chief thorn in Obama's side. His image is hardly going to broaden the "tent" of the GOP which took another blow when Sen. Arlen Specter defected to the Democratic Party. When does hunting season begin?

If you're ticked off by something in the news, let TNB know. Best rant gets an all expense paid trip to Alaska in December for the first birthday party of the love child of Bristol Palin and ex-stud Levi Johnston.

Ignoring History

The famous quote "Those Who Ignore History Are Bound To Repeat It" or versions thereof, variously ascribed to Santayana or Burke, has been around for several centuries. Isn't it interesting how relevant this admonition is today? Consider several examples:

For hundreds of years, ending in the early 19th Century, pirates were the scourge of the seas, particularly off of North Africa--the infamous Barbary Coast. Finally, after decades of ransom paying by European nations, the fledgling US Marines finally wiped out the Barbary pirates in 1815 thus causing the phrase "...to the shores of Tripoli " to be included in the Marine hymn.

Then for the better part of the next 200 years, "pirates" were romanticized in the minds of the public, beginning with the classic Gilbert and Sullivan comic opera "The Pirates of Penzance" (which contains the most parodied song ever "I am the very model of a modern Major-General"), then onto Capt. Hook from Peter Pan, numerous sports teams using "Pirates" as sort of a benign nickname and finally Johnny Depp as a dandified captain in "Pirates of the Caribbean". The emergence of real latter day pirates, this time Somalis off the East Coast of Africa, received relatively little publicity until the recent dramatic rescue of Capt. Richard Phillips. Shipping companies and some governments paid ransoms instead of doing something to stop this practice. Ignoring history has increased the price of combating this scourge, which at least is finally receiving overdue attention.

Attention has not been lacking on another scourge--financial fraud. But again history has been ignored. A lot of people think that Charles Ponzi invented such frauds in the 1920's. But he was actually a small timer, preying mostly on the most vulnerable segments of society. 65 years earlier in 1855, when Dickens wrote "Little Dorrit" (now an excellent Masterpiece Theatre series) he portrayed the British aristocracy as being taken to the cleaners by a smooth, trustworthy, hard to approach (sound familiar?) con man eerily similar to Bernie Madoff, who of course preyed on a modern day "aristocracy" of sorts. The fictional counterpart was named Merdle, which is probably the original family name of Madoff, before it was de-anglicized to better identify with the majority of his victims. There obviously were real life models for Merdle, as well as for numerous other crooks who continue to fool people, all of whom ignore history at their peril.

Finally, the real history of the 1773 Boston Tea Party, involving a bailout of the East India Company (really!), was largely ignored on April 15, with the ubiquitous "tea parties" organized largely by Fox News to complain about taxation without representation. That was obviously valid three years prior to the Declaration of Independence, but wasn't there just a fair, democratic election? And worst of all, the "spontaneous" protesters ignored a modern day British (vulgar) usage of "teabagging" referring to a sensitive part of the male anatomy. Easy to ignore when you know nothing.

Too Much Information

In the world of text messaging and twittering, one of the most widely used acronyms (after OMG, BTW, LOL, etc.) is TMI, which is shorthand for Too Much Information and usually means that the recipient of one of these messages just has information overload. He or she can't or won't process all the information sent to them and has thus sent back a mild protest--TMI.

In our modern world, don't we all sometimes feel that we are receiving, by various means probably not even including texting, far more information than we want, need, can use and/or care about?

Only a generation or so ago, even the most knowledgeable people didn't have access to 24/7 news stations (they didn't exist!) or information now easily available on the Internet (PC's were just coming into widespread use) or certainly the currently ubiquitous cellphones which "way back then" in the '80's only could make telephone calls. Imagine how primitive!

You actually had to read a newspaper (remember them?) or magazine or carefully listen to a radio or TV news program to find out what was going on--and without much of the trivia than is now available. Rarely, for most people was there too much information--often not enough.

Actually if the irrelevant (should President Obama have bought pizza from his hometown Chicago rather than from St. Louis, did Billy Bob Thornton "pull a Joaquin Phoenix" in a Canadian interview, is Lindsay Lohan for real, will Blago go to Costa Rica to star in an NBC reality show, is the new White House dog Bo potty trained, etc. etc.) is filtered out there is a wealth of good information to make you smarter and more intelligent.

In order to achieve what might be referred to as JEI (Just Enough Information) you need to pay very close attention to The Normal Blog. Of course, in general blogs are probably the biggest source of TMI (present company excluded). Sadly, much of the "information" imparted is only opinion (present company also excluded).

Exodus

As Passover approaches, once again the timeless story of the Israelites, led by Moses, and their exodus from slavery under the Egyptian Pharaoh is being related to young and old. The parting of the Red Sea, 40 years of wandering in the wilderness and many other profound stories are being repeated. Although occurring perhaps 3,500 years ago, the biblical exodus still has significance for those of us coping with 21st century life.

For example, the desires of many people who are poverty and disease stricken and who live under brutal totalitarian regimes to find a better life elsewhere might produce a mass migration or exodus if such were possible. But it is painfully obvious that today's immigration policies and political climate in much of the developed world inhibits, in fact prohibits, any meaningful exodus from taking place.

Closer to home, the last 25 years or so have witnessed a huge exodus of Americans from the Midwest and Northeast to the South and Southwest. While this has understandably resulted from a desire to escape harsh winters and/or to seek better economic opportunities, so called "paradise" destinations such as California, Nevada, Arizona and Florida are reeling under the burden of the staggering overdevelopment in their states caused in no small part by such exodus. Where is Moses when we all really need him?

On a much more micro scale, we are seeing an exodus of various business executives starting with Rick Wagoner of GM and no doubt soon to be followed by some bank executives who raise the ire of Barack Obama--yes, he can be really angry. This type of exodus differs in one tiny respect from the others mentioned above. Only these guys get $20 million or more in severance to make their exodus comfortable. No unleavened bread for them.

April Fools

Every April 1, many pranks and tricks are played. Those who fall for them might be called April fools. But often these days, what might appear to be an April Fool's joke has actually happened on a daily basis. All of the following with one exception are real occurrences:

• A number of mistrials have been required because certain jurors, in contravention of judicial instructions, have been caught texting or twittering during jury deliberations. (Milwaukee Bucks player Charlie Villanueva was detected twittering at halftime during his coach's pep talk).
• A former NFL star (Travis Henry) and a former NBA player (Jason Caffey) have admitted to fathering, respectively, 9 and 8 children by an equal number of different women and despite their bloated salaries both are behind in child support.
• Iowa Senator Charles Grassley (who later said he was kidding) announced that he believed that many of those responsible for the financial crisis, particularly some AIG bonus recipients, should behave like some Japanese executives and commit suicide.
• Despite having several highly paid image consultants, Yankees star and '"former" steroid abuser Alex (A-Rod) Rodriguez's image took another big hit (pun intended) with the alleged revelation that he was client #13 (his uniform number) at the same high priced escort service that brought down NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer, supposedly client #9.
• Deposed and soon to be indicted former Illinois Gov. Rod (Helmet Hair) Blagojevich spent a morning as the host on a Chicago radio talk show right after receiving a six figure advance for a yet to be written book about him, who else?
• The wife of jailed Uber-Swindler Bernie Madoff received a seven figure advance for a tell -all book "The Truth About Ruth".

If you realized that only the last item was made up by TNB, you win an all expense paid trip to a Caribbean island of your choice (April Fool).

Duplicity

For a few hours of escape from all of the world's troubles, TNB recommends the enjoyable new Julia Roberts/Clive Owen caper film "Duplicity" which deals brilliantly with the world of corporate espionage. Once you have left the theatre (unfortunately not the late, lamented Normal, pictured to the left) you'll be back in reality faced with even more "duplicity", which is defined in the dictionary as double dealing or deceitfulness. Consider the following:

• Perhaps more duplicitous than the much maligned bonuses paid to failed executives, AIG transferred Billions (not a mere $165 million) of its bailout money to various counterparties such as Goldman Sachs and Deutsche Bank which it had insured with its arcane credit default swaps. Since without the TARP funds, AIG would have been bankrupt and would have defaulted on its own default instruments, the taxpayers were possibly deceived as to exactly what the bailout was really for (not the only example). BTW, apparently some of these bonuses have been returned (except of course those paid in Europe) and perhaps the ill-conceived (maybe duplicitous) 90% income tax will deservedly die a quiet death.
• Is there a body containing more duplicity than the US Congress? How about Sen. Chris Dodd of Connecticut who while posing as a populist took huge campaign contributions from the financial services industry (as did another ranking Democrat, NY Sen. Chuck Schumer) and allegedly snuck something in the stimulus package which permitted AIG and other bailout recipients to legally pay the aforementioned egregious compensation? OMG.
• Daphne Merkin, the author of the forthcoming "Jews and Money" (we need this?) wrote an interesting New York Times column about the "casualties "of Bernie Madoff while deceiving the readers by not fully disclosing that her brother is Ezra Merkin, who has been sued by half of New York's wealthy for feeding their money (after sizable fees) to the newest resident of the Metropolitan Correctional Center of NYC. After TNB realized this, another reading of the column showed that she was subtly excusing any of his enablers because of Bernie's charm, aura, etc. etc. OY.

It appears that we just have to learn how to deal with the double dealers. In the Movie "Duplicity" there are at least some triple dealers, but that's fiction, right?

Headlines

Thursday, March 12 was quite a day in the headlines. For example:

BERNIE MADOFF REMANDED TO PRISON

COMMENT: While victims present in the courtroom applauded, the King of Swindlers was led away in handcuffs. Unreported was a later incident when Ruth Madoff tried to sneak in a pastrami sandwich from Bernie's favorite deli. Ruth, of course, is dearly trying to hold onto $69 million she claims is not from the fraud. She maybe ran an expensive escort service (Eliot Spitzer, anyone)?

BRISTOL PALIN NO LONGER ENGAGED

COMMENT: Remember the unbelievable "spin" right after the GOP convention, where Sarah and others gushed over how much in love Bristol and Levi (who always looked like a deer caught in the headlights) were, their forthcoming marriage and completion of high school (they're both dropouts) ad nauseum? If any normal person bought into this, TNB has a bridge for sale. Another example of Beverly Hills Hillbillies relocated to Wasilla. BTW, actual statistic--only 8% of teenage mothers marry the father, with many divorces the eventual result.

JON STEWART CREAMS JIM CRAMER

COMMENT: While taking his well deserved medicine from Jon, it looked like Jim Cramer was on on some other meds (Ritalin, Prozac?). Apparently, his entire shtick (Mad Money) is a tiresome act. He was well behaved on Martha Stewart (obviously no relation) earlier Thursday but didn't show up on Morning Joe Friday AM (no more caffeine maybe?)

SYRACUSE BEATS UCONN IN RECORD 6 OVERTIMES

COMMENT: Arrogant, grossly overpaid UConn coach Jim Calhoun was his usual ungracious self afterwards, blaming everybody but himself and TNB. Why are so many college coaches so widely admired? Must be the great examples they set for their "student-athletes".

TEXAS, SOUTH CAROLINA GOVERNORS REFUSE STIMULUS MONEY

COMMENT: Apparently following the lead of Rush (I hope Obama fails) Limbaugh, these 2 enlightened conservatives believe that the strings attached to the stimulus package (e.g. improving unemployment benefits) made helping their constituents unpalatable. Better to take a "principled" stand. These guys are worse than college coaches.

What's The Big Rush

It's somewhat startling that after being resoundingly defeated in the last election and with their approval rating lower than the Dow that the Republican party would at least temporarily rally around two nobodies--Lousiana Gov. Bobby Jindal, who looked positively adolescent in delivering the GOP reply to the Obama congressional address and Michael Steele, their new national chairman who has made some ludicrous attempts to portray his party as hip and cool.This may not be PC to say but but maybe men of color and Republicans just don't mix. A much more appropriate face for today's conservatives is their new de facto "leader" -- big old Rush Limbaugh to whom Steele has already apologized for daring to criticize.

Rush is a perfect symbol of much of today's GOP--a nasty, bigoted hypocrite whose main appeal seems to be to people like him--a few rungs above trailer park trash (but a hell of a lot richer). In case you've forgotten, he's a thrice divorced pill abuser who, among other "accomplishments" has been arrested for doctor shopping to obtain multiple prescriptions. He has publicly mocked the Parkinson's disease symptoms of Michael J. Fox. Limbaugh will likely be apopletic Monday when President Obama reverses the despicable Bush limitations on stem cell research, which of course hopefully will some day help find a cure for horrible diseases such as Parkinson's. Also, Rush has been a vicious foe of immigration. Wouldn't it be ironic if eventually he faced a life and death dilemma on whether to accept a transplanted organ from an illegal Mexican alien?

Just recently, Rush has suggested naming the Obama health care bill "Ted Kennedy Memorial Legislation" thus effectively burying Teddy alive. What's with these right wing morons? Last week, Kentucky Senator Jim Bunning (a Hall of Fame pitcher who should have stuck to baseball) announced that Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg (whose name he misspelled twice) would be dead within nine months. Maybe these guys have a special pipeline to God that is not available to liberals.

Perhaps most outrageously Rush has noisily "invited" President Obama to debate him on his radio show (ratings anyone?). Since it wouldn't make any sense for the President, how about an equally adept replacement--one who will not be restrained by good taste or concern about future political damage--yes, TNB. Let Rush know what you think!

What's the Big Rush

Twenty Questions

Those of us old enough to remember the old quiz show "Twenty Questions" (animal, vegetable or mineral?) probably are anxious for a 21st century successor. For the rest of you, the new version, as delineated below, should start an exciting trend (??) Answers of course are not provided.

1. Is anyone surprised that the GOP is totally devoid of constructive ideas on how to fix the economy other than the tired mantra of cutting taxes and not spending?
2. Isn't this the same group whose plan for financing the Iraq war was to, you guessed it, cut taxes thus significantly contributing to our current deficit?
3. Is it becoming a sort of perverse "badge of honor" to have your ethnic group be victimized by your own kind in a Ponzi scheme?
4. How else to explain what has befallen Jews (Bernie Madoff, Arthur Nadel), Bible Belt Christians (Allan Stanford) plus assorted Haitian Americans, Polish Americans, etc. and just about anyone you can think of except Hopi Indians and Kazakhstani/Americans (maybe Borat)?
5. Was anyone shocked that our national priorities are so screwed up that by far the highest paid Connecticut state employee at $1.2 mil. is the UConn basketball coach Jim Calhoun who recently displayed an arrogance about such compensation worthy of any (former) Wall Street banker?
6. Does anyone care that insurance (former) behemoth AIG has needed the largest single Treasury bailout since they "insured" all of the exotic (now toxic) financial instruments such as credit default swaps without setting aside any loss reserves?
7. Were any regulators home while AIG and a myriad of others were causing irreparable harm to our economy?
8. When did celebrities (Hollywood, athletes, etc.)start to have an entourage or posse of hangers on to do everything, good or bad, for the exalted ones, such as cousins buying banned drugs?
9. Why do such celebrities have to be held up as role models for our children despite the well documented foibles and worse of many of them?
10. Why can't the real role models be doctors, teachers, firefighters, scientists and the like?
11. Was Kate Winslet sincere when she announced that henceforth she will keep her clothes on for her movie roles?
12. Is TNB the only one upset by such announcement?
13. Will Mickey Rourke fade back into oblivion?
14. Will Joan Rivers overcome her 32 facial operations and beat out the other D-List participants on Donald Trump's new Celebrity Apprentice?
15. Will the Donald overcome the stigma of his latest casino bankruptcy filing?
16. Will Minnesota's senatorial election (Al Franken vs. Norm Coleman) ever be settled?
17. When will Roland Burris' brief career as Senator from Illinois end?
18. Who will Roland's successor be?
19. Will such person be male, female, white, black or Hispanic or all of the above?
20. Whatever happened to Rod Blagojevich?

Olio

"Olio" is defined as a miscellaneous collection of things. So herewith an olio of profound musings. What else would you expect?

FRAUD AND SHAME:

The collective shame many Jews (not TNB) felt over Bernie Madoff's giant fraud, mostly victimizing other Jews, has been partially assuaged by the revelations of a $9.2 billion fraud allegedly perpetrated by Allen Stanford, a Texas WASP financier. It's doubtful that gentiles (other than those duped) feel anything about Stanford, certainly not ethnic shame. Stanford, who has been "knighted" by the Prime Minister of Antigua, has falsely claimed that he is a descendant of the founder of Stanford University. The lesson here, if one is needed, is that fraud and other criminal behavior crosses all ethnic lines and there's no reason to identify with some miscreant just because he was bar mitzvahed.

THE TOXICITY OF ROD:

It's no surprise that Roland Burris is now being asked to resign by many parties. He was tainted from Day One by being appointed by the Beady Eyed Balkan. Next up-- everyone who interviewed Rod on TV, from David Letterman to Sean Hannity to Larry King, will be subpoenaed to appear at his Federal trial, where no cameras are allowed. What retribution!
Even Patti Blagojevich, she of the potty mouth, could face some charges. TNB is a little nervous because 10 years ago he met then US Rep. Blago, and shook his hand.

BEAT TNB OSCAR CONTEST:

If you submit (before the Oscar show, of course) a better slate of Academy Award winners than that promulgated by TNB below, you can win (TNB did not make this up) the latest in innovative toys-- a $100 Bernie Madoff doll, dressed in a devil suit together with a hammer for taking out your frustrations. Eligibility and other rules are under the sole discretion of TNB.
Best Picture Slumdog Millionaire
Best Actor Sean Penn (Milk)
Best Actress Kate Winslet (The Reader)
Best Supporting Actor Heath Ledger (Dark Knight)
Best Supporting Actress Tajari P. Henson (Benjamin Button)

Get a Good CPA

Although TNB's chosen profession of accounting is often maligned or ridiculed ("it was the accountant's fault","they're just pencil pushers", etc.) if you really think about it a lot of the current problems being experienced by politicians, businesses, investors and the like could certainly have been prevented or at least mitigated by getting a good CPA on the case. Consider these examples.

The tax problems of Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner and almost HHS Secretary Tom Daschle would never have occurred if a good CPA was used to "do their taxes". Geithner was using TurboTax? Incredible. He's lucky his confirmation hearing was scheduled before Daschle's. At least Obama uses a large CPA firm.

Investors apparently didn't bother to ask if Bernie Madoff used a good CPA before entrusting him (directly or through feeder funds) with billions. His so called auditors (a 2 person "firm" in rural Rockland County, New York) did not admit to regulators that they performed audits (a Freudian slip) thus averting periodic peer reviews which would have probably uncovered the fraud years ago. Nobody seemed to ask how a firm such as this could have the resources to audit Madoff's entities. Everyone was too enamored of their too good to be true results to do any diligence, due or otherwise.

Several years ago, a similar Ponzi scheme, Bayou Securities (the principal , one Samuel Israel tried to fake his own death last year to avoid jail) actually used a phony CPA firm to issue bogus reports. Eventually someone checked not whether there was a good CPA involved but rather were any of the financial statements legitimate--the answer was obvious!

How to go about finding a good CPA or at least deciding whether to trust the one whose work is presented? Besides the usual channels of professional societies and the Internet, there's always the ultimate reference for any CPA --yes The Normal Blogger. If there's too much new business created by this service, TNB may be looking for some new blogging help.

Then and Now

As The Normal Blog approaches its first anniversary next month, it is startling to realize just how much things have changed between then and now and just how unpredictable life is. Consider the following:

BARACK OBAMA
Then: Long shot for Democratic presidential nomination and even longer shot for White House
Now: Coolest dude on the planet

HILLARY CLINTON
Then: Odds on favorite for Democratic presidential nomination and White House
Now: #4 in line for White House (as Secretary of State)

ROD BLAGOJEVICH
Then: Unpronounceable Governor, little known outside Illinois
Now: National laughingstock and star of TV series "The Beady Eyed Balkan"

ELLIOT SPITZER
Then: High profile New York Governor
Now: National laughingstock and star of TV series "The Thousand Dollar Hooker"

SARAH PALIN
Then: Obscure moose hunting Alaska governor
Now: National laughingstock and star of TV series "Hottest Mama from Coldest State"

JOHN THAIN (Merrill), RICHARD FULD (Lehman), JAMES CAYNE (Bear Stearns)
Then: Masters of the Universe, widely admired for Wall Street success
Now: Widely reviled as symbols of Wall Street greed, arrogance and incompetence

BERNARD MADOFF
Then: Little known but highly admired for stunning, mysterious Wall Street success
Now: Universally reviled as shameless sociopathic sadistic serial swindler

CHICAGO CUBS
Then: Hoping for first World Series championship in 100 years
Now: Hoping for first World Series championship in 101 years

THE NORMAL BLOGGER
Then: Obscure retired CPA
Now: Obscure retired CPA

What's Happened to Governors

In case you hadn't heard, Oscar nominee Josh Brolin has been signed to play the lead in "Rod:The Movie" with Will Smith as Barack Obama and Ben Stiller as Rahm Emanuel. Although it is still possible that a soon to be unemployed Illinois Governor might want to play himself. He's certainly been too busy visiting "The View" to even attend his own impeachment trial, where contrary to his public pronouncements, he could certainly testify in his own behalf. But of course, he then couldn't play martyr or wrap himself in the mantra of Gandhi, Mandela and King. TNB just realized that chutzpah was a Serbian word.

Blago is just the latest in a series of governors who have fallen on hard times. Being a governor is not what it used to be, although there will never be any shortage of candidates anywhere in the USA.

As recently as 1977-2009, the White House (with the exception of Bush 41's one term) was continually occupied by former governors (Carter, Reagan, Clinton and Bush 43). But the 2008 Presidential campaign produced only a few viable candidates (Romney, Huckabee) who were former governors plus one sitting governor (Richardson) now being investigated for corruption and another (Sarah you-know-who)now being investigated for brain cramp. There don't appear to be a lot of present governors who are future presidential material, but as we know surprises happen.

Worse yet, this decade alone has seen the following governors lose their office under a cloud:
Convicted and Sent to Prison:
John Rowland (CT)
Edward Di Prete (RI)
Edwin Edwards (LA)
George Ryan (IL)

Recalled by Electorate:
Gray Davis (CA) Replaced by Arnold S.

Resigned Due to Sex Scandal:
James McGreevey NJ) Involving a male
Eliot Spitzer (NY) Involving a female

Spitzer's successor, David Paterson, has not exactly distinguished himself in selecting Hillary Clinton's Senate replacement, but he at least apparently didn't attempt to sell the seat to the highest bidder (Caroline could have easily been the winner).

Senators have fared a little better, although Ted Stevens was convicted of corruption and Larry Craig was a bad boy in the men's room.

Not a lot of great role models for today's youth.

America the Beautiful

Even the ultimate cynic--TNB--has to confess that he too was excited, inspired and a little bit overwhelmed by the enormity of Inauguration Day. The sight of millions of Americans, black and white, in Washington or elsewhere, exulting in the new President and the hope he brings has to warm even the coldest, most skeptical of hearts. This scenario is what makes America Beautiful.

Even George W. Bush appeared to rise to the occasion by being gracious in transition and amazingly issuing no political pardons, even preemptive. Out of luck were Scooter Libby, George Ryan, Alberto Gonzalez et al. At least W. left office with a lot more dignity than did his predecessor, Bill Clinton, who started a long period of sleaziness with some of his questionable last minute pardons.

Speaking of Bill, leave it to Bush home state Senator John Cornyn to absurdly hold up Hillary Clinton's confirmation (by one day) by refusing to join in a unanimous voice vote (9 other nominees were so confirmed). This proves what exactly?? A little dose of reality apparently. The honeymoon will obviously end, but can we have at least a few months of civility while President Obama (sounds nice) tries to begin extricating America from the mess he's inherited?

Also, was TNB only imagining that Chief Justice Roberts, whose confirmation Senator Obama voted against, sort of deliberately flubbed the administration of the Presidential oath? There's that cynicism rearing up again.

Finally, the best description of the new President (never used for his predecessor) is "he's one cool dude". Come to think of it, that's no description of TNB either.

Scoundrels

Can anyone remember when the American public has been so captivated by the parallel but unrelated sagas of two fascinating scoundrels--Bernie Madoff and Rod Blagojevich?
Even TNB couldn't make this up.

To the dismay of his many direct and indirect victims, Bernie Madoff is under "house arrest" in his luxurious Manhattan penthouse, enjoying a lot better food, bedding and other comforts than he would if he had been remanded to a Federal pen while awaiting his ultimate fate. Since there is obviously a different standard of justice for some of the privileged (why should he qualify?)one wonders if such ultimate fate will satisfy the horde of revenge seekers. Many of these people would (at least surreptitously) prefer that Bernie took the honorable way out (fat chance) and flipped out his window, after of course alerting the New York Post. Certainly his Austrian banker friend Sonja Kohn, reputed to be in hiding from Russian "businessmen" whose billions she apparently "invested" with Bernie, would like to avoid showing her face by being forced to testify at his trial.

Isn't it interesting that when Americans are swindled they just file lawsuits but when Russians (and maybe others) are conned, they put out a hit on the perpetrator?

Just as incredible as Bernie is our embattled (impeached on a 114-1 vote, facing Federal criminal charges, etc.) Illinois governor Rod (the mad Serbian) Blagojevich.
Who else but Blago could go jogging while the impeachment vote was being taken and then hours later conclude a "press conference" (no questions allowed) by quoting Tennyson, two weeks after similarly quoting Kipling?

No doubt Rod is looking for some other English poets to quote during his upcoming Illinois Senate trial where, contrary to his lawyers' desires, he will probably testify. As a public service, TNB offers the following possibilities:

BROWNING "All's over then; does truth sound bitter as one at first believes"

SHELLEY "One word is too often profaned for me to profane it"

FLECKER "I had a friend who battled for the truth with stubborn heart and obstinate despair"

CONSTABLE "Give pardon, blessed soul, to my bold cries"

Pardon Me

With the daily rush of events (Gaza, Burris, Richardson, job losses, etc.) now occurring, it is difficult for Barack Obama to continue to function in the "one President at a time" mode. But for 13 more days, George W. Bush ("forgotten but not yet gone" in the apt words of Frank Rich) is still the President. The Dick Cheney coup feared by TNB hasn't happened. So it appears that W. will have a chance as did all his predecessors to issue a slew of pardons on the way out of office. Bill Clinton managed to have a few humdingers--especially Marc Rich, whose pardon may be a factor in the upcoming confirmation hearings for Eric Holder as attorney general.

The presumptive pardonees (is this a real word?)can be grouped in 3 main categories.
Keep this list handy (sort of like the Oscar nominees) so you can follow the last minute news just prior to the inauguration. Remember you don't have to be convicted or even indicted to be pardoned (see Gerald Ford pardon of Richard Nixon in 1974).

MORE LIKELY THAN NOT:

Ex White House Aide Scooter Libby (previously convicted but jail sentence commuted)
Ex Alaska Senator Ted Stevens (convicted but not yet sentenced)
Ex Attorney General Alberto Gonzalez (still facing Federal inquiries)
Ex Lobbyist/Fixer Jack Abramoff (in jail but not yet singing soprano)

MORE NOT THAN LIKELY:

Ex Enron CEO Jeff Skilling (serving time for accounting fraud)
Ex WorldCom CEO Bernard Ebbers (serving time for accounting fraud)
Ex Illinois Governor George Ryan (in jail at age 75)

NOT A CHANCE IN HELL:

Present Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich (apparently soon to be indicted)
Super Swindler Bernard Madoff (apparently soon to be indicted)


Watch for a few surprises as the lame duck utters his final quacks.